Stories

Anonymous wrote:

Hi! I'm 23 years old, I'm from Brazil... Im here because I want to confess my sins... I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation... I'd like to ask you to pray for me and ask God to forgive and to cleanse me as it is written in 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us {our} sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.". Please, pray for me! God Bless you all!

 

Anonymous wrote:

My name is Mark Peters. I am fifty-four years old. I have been addicted to porn since my first exposure to it at age twelve. I became a Christian at age thirty-three. This did noy stop my porn use. A year later I felt called to ministry. This did not stop my porn use. In 1992 I started seminary. This did not stop my porn use. In 2001 I started serving a church part-time. This did not stop my porn use. In 2005 I started serving a church full-time. This did not stop my porn use. In 2006, after nearly losing my marriage, I started in therapy for porn addiction. In 2007 my wife and I, with (we thought) the support of my denominational superior, disclosed to our church that I had a year of recovery from porn addiction. The worst case scenario happened and I was forced out of the church. I relapsed in fall of 2007. By the grace of God in Christ Jesus, I have been sober now since February 14, 2008. The therapy was helpful, but I did not feel that I truly entered recovery until I got involved with some Christian based twelve step groups. (Celebrate Recovery was one of them.) Secrecy feeds addiction. This was part of the reason for the disclosure. We believed it was the healthiest thing for me and the church. It ultimately was for me. Even though we lost our ministry, my wife and I believe it was the right (and the best) thing to do. We would do it again because we are commited to a policy of letting the light into the darkness of porn addiction. I am in recovery, but I will remain an addict all of my life. If I forget this I am doomed to fall back into the addiction. This might sound horrible to those looking for a way out of this addiction. But it is something we must face if we are to stay sober. The way out is not an easy one. But our guide is the one who died for us making the way out. With such a guide we can walk this road until such time as when we will be transformed into His image. My prayer is that as more Christians find there way free of this terrible disease they will speak out, inside the church and out, to bring the words of healing to those who still believe it is hopeless. Afterall, how can the believe if they have not heard? Andhow can they hear if there is no one to preach? Or no one willing to preach? I pray God?s peace on all who are effected by this scourge of pornography.

 

Chad wrote:

I am a teenager, and I have been struggling with masturbation for three years. After a while, it led to viewing porn as well. It has become an every-day habit of mine. I've prayed and read so much in the Bible to help me with this. I have given it up for a few days in the past, but I want to end it finally! It makes me feel so guilty and vulnerable. This has become way to big of a habit. I think people are pretty honest about what they do 90% of the time, but then there is that 10% left over, that we would be humiliated to death if someone found out about it. Porn and masturbation are my 10%. I NEED to stop! This has become so big of a problem now! Every time I am online and I even think about looking at something, I feel so powerless, like I can't stop myself. If anybody would please pray for me, I would really appreciate it!

 

Adrienne wrote:

As a woman, most people (the few who know) are very suprised to learn that I was once addicted to pornography. The truth of the matter is that there are far more women addicted than most believe. I was raised in a Christian household, and stumbled upon pornography around the age of 9 thanks to romance novels (something far too many people do not see as being detrimental). As a child I loved to read, and was able to read higher level material. Unfortunatly that material turned about to be books that were also far beyond my maturity level. I was extremely curious, and that led me deeper and deeper into an addiction I didn't even realize I was stumbling into. Within a few years I went from reading about sexual encounters to watching them being played out on television however I could. As I got into high school, my friends all had boyfriends. I, of course, was the only one who did not. That fueled my additcion. I would hear stories about all of my friends talking about thier sexual experiences and I thought I was such "a good Christian girl" because I was not giving in to the temptation to do things with guys. I look back now and realize that God was greatly protecting me from a real relationship, because I may have ended up sleeping with someone (as much as I would like to think I wouldn't have). I thought that I was being pure and that viewing pornography was not nearly as sinful as actually having sex. I also realize now that I truly did not have a relationship with the Lord as I thought I did. He was not nearly as important to me at that time as I made Him seem. About 4 years ago, I stopped watching pornography all together. Not too long after, I met an amazing Christian man. At first I tried to keep my past to myself, but guilt consumed me and I told him about it. He was extremely understanding. However, even though I was no longer watching pornography, the effects stayed with me. I started suffering from compulsive thoughts in my head where I saw everyone as a sexual being instead of who they really were. I enrolled in Christian counseling and found out that this is not uncommon. Because I was not indulging in watching pornography, my mind was satisfying itself. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life. While my boyfriend remained extremely supportive for years and helped me in every way imaginable, our relationship did not work and we eventually broke up. I know that dealing with the effects of my addiction was a main cause, among other things. I am so thankful that God allowed him into my life. God really used him to straighten me out, and to enter into a close relationship with Him. To be honest, I don't think that anyone deserves to have to deal with the type of issues he had to endure from me because of this. My ex most certainly did not. However, God is good, and I have faith that despite all of this I will someday get married. I am now in my almost mid-twenties and have not viewed, or truly had the desire to view, pornography in almost 4 years. I also do not deal with the compulsive thoughts anymore thanks to a great Christian counselor and God. I know the deep destruction that it has caused in not only my life, but the lives of others. It ruined a relationship with a man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It has caused me to be extremely careful about what I allow myself to read and watch (some people dont' understand why I won't watch almost every rated R movie or read popular magazines). I have to very much guard my heart and mind. However, God uses everything for His glory. I also think that because of this, I can help others and hopefully prevent my furture children from dealing with the same addiction. God protected me so much. I am still a virgin, which I am extremely proud of. And I will not date a man who does not agree with my morals. He continues to pour His grace over me, and has opened the door to lead a life where I don't have to look back at who I once was (although sometimes I make the choice to. When that happens He picks me back up and we continue walking). I still have much guilt and shame, but I am learning day by day that all fall short of the glory of God, and I am blessed to be out of that pit. I am terrified of the day when I find another great man who I have to admit my sin to, and risk him walking away. But God controls everything, and He will do what is necessary so that His will in my life be done. I know that He has great plans in store for me, as well as anyone dealing with this type of addiction. It is never too late to stop. God provides for every need! Anyone can be set free from this.

 

Thomas wrote:

Life is the stage and we are the actors upon it. That phrase defines me completely. I am the classic church kid who looks perfect and like he couldn't possibly ever deal with pornography. Thats where everyone is dead wrong. It is a double life, the life of godliness and the life of sin. I began at age 12 and now I'm 16 learning to deal with it much better. This Friday me and my friends will be restarting an accountability group I began last winter, and I hope I can help the new teenagers in the church that will inevitably face this battle. The battle for myself is not over yet, but I can tell you one good piece of advice. NEVER GIVE UP!!! Never get down on yourself and make sure you come to somebody with your problem. If my dad had never discovered my problem, I would be drowning in sin right now. Its possible to defeat this, and we can all rise as Christians and do it together. Look to 2 timothy 2:22 and keep it in mind.

 

Dorsey wrote:

was saved when I was three, and lived to be a scoffer all my life. I was raised well by my parents and do the "Christian" thing, but my heart was never in it. I was selfish, prideful, and didn't care about anyone but me. Wehn I was 11, I just started to masturbate like I've been doing it all my life. I'd do it when ever I was alone, even st my Christian school. It was a nasty habit. When I got into pronography and it only got worse. I was doing these things for 4 years!! I hardly ever went to Church, but when I wanted to stop masturbating and looking up porn; I started to go every chance I got. I went to Church for 2 years straight and nothing was changed. I still wanted to get rid of it, but at the same time I didn't want to let go. One year I went to a Christian camp in MI and it opened my eyes and showed me my heart wasn't in it. We came back from MI and my Church had a new youth pastor. The first time I heard his message I realized that all along I was doing it for me and by me alone. I had to give it to God and trust in Him to take care of it. So that night I gave my problems to God and have been clean ever since. My life has gotten better. I'm not worring anymore, I'm not jumpy anymore, and I'm happier than I ever thought possible in this cruel and corrupted world!:) It was all thanks to God, and God using my youth pastor, and believe it or not Rush of Fools! That band is so true in their lyrics! The songs they sing truely helped my growth and walk with Christ!

 

Michelle wrote:

My boyfreind is addicted to porn, and probably has been for years. He is a wonderful man, and really wants to quit and please God, but I think he has tried so many times and failed, that he just gets very angry if I bring up the subject. I pray for him every day, and I have given over my pain and struggle about it to God. That is how I have found peace. I do wish there was something I could do to help him, but he has to want to quit.