Stories

Jacob wrote:

I'm a 19 year old male. I struggle with pornography and masterbation. I know there is hope for me in Jesus Christ alone. Why I give into my temptations I don't know. All I know is that Satan is behind everypart of it as I just sit there and do anything but flew, at times. Sometimes I do, but others I run toward it as if it is going to fufill me. It never will and I of course no this I need to act it out. I'm tired of seeing everyone else grow towards Christ and me just air on the curb. When ithink about pornography I can understand completely and pasiionatley of how it is wrong and how I need to be strong in Christ and stop fooling around! But when temptation comes on me myind is not clear. As someone said earlier I need to take captive my thoughts and stop letting Satan do that for me. He hates me much and I just sit and obey him most of the time. Where is my heart at you know? I want to say it is with the Lord but according to my actions it is elsewhere. I refuse to believe I am am going to give into this temptation much longer. I was free of it for about 6 months and running with the Lord but I have recently fallen back into my old ways. I refuse to believe that I will be defeated by this temptation when Jesus has already defeated it for me!! Satan is under my feet no matter when the last time I sinned or how long I have lived in that sin! God, I just pray right now that you would come down and instill your heart in all that stuggle with this horrid temptation and that you would cleanse us of all our sins and keep us holy and let us follow your ways and just push temptation away from us and deliver us from all evil! When am I going to open my eyes and see what His will is in my life? I pray for a wife and yet I go to what rips me away from any kind of relationship. It makes me feel like dirt unworthy of a girlfriend or a wife or friends in general yet I keep running back to it. I know I am rambling but I think whoever reads this will understand why. Please someone comment on this. O would love to get some help from another member of Christa family. And that's the thing I go onto the internet and I sin against all those who I should be trying to love and help them get out of thier sins. I don't know. "In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world" - John 16:33 p.s. There will most likely be a lot of errors in this, it was on my I pod touch. GOD BLESS!!!!

 

mary wrote:

I am a woman addicted to porn. It's a love/hate relationship. My soul longs to resist, but my body always takes control and convinces me it's alright. I always go farther than I expect to go. It's weakening my standards of dealing with men in real life (even though I know those people I'm looking at on the computer are real). I've been begging God for help. Recently, though I've never had sex, I got the sudden realization that porn is not real sex. It's robotic, casual, detached. It isn't the passionate, intimate act of love between a man and woman as I believe sex is meant to be. And if it is something that special, I don't want to ruin my chance of giving that to my future husband if God wills for me to get married. I don't want to ruin my future with what I do today. Please pray!!!!!! I am so glad to have found this place! Turn off that porn! by "Rivka" 3.06.2010 Don?t hate me please Don?t take control of me Don?t throw away my things I?m hurt enough, I?m sorry for lust I?m ready to choose this myself Though I can't do it myself I?m praying for God to give me help. I?ve felt the growing addictions And had silent consequences The guilt that can no longer be felt And yet my soul is tortured still They think I?m a little angel They would be shocked to see me This junk doesn?t change my morals Or so I believed Till I saw my own reflection And melted to my knees Sometimes you don?t know what slavery is Till you hear the word ?freedom? And something in your heart awakes It longs to throw off all these chains Why don?t I see it?s a prison? I see what a shame it is to me I don?t want anyone to know of it But I know I want to be free And Jesus said, ?Go and sin no more? Go and sin no more Go and sin no more Go turn off that porn! Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

 

anonymous wrote:

I am a woman addicted to porn. It's a love/hate relationship. My soul longs to resist, but my body always takes control and convinces me it's alright. I always go farther than I expect to go. It's weakening my standards of dealing with men in real life (even though I know those ppl I'm looking at on the computer are real). I've been begging God for help. Recently, though I've never had sex, I got the sudden realization that porn is not real sex. It's robotic, casual, detached. It isn't the passionate, intimate act of love between a man and woman as I believe sex is meant to be. And if it is something that special, I don't want to ruin my chance of giving that to my future husband if God wills for me to get married. I don't want to ruin my future with what I do today. Please pray!!!!!! I am so glad to have found this place!

 

Anonymous wrote:

I had the same addiction and could not stop on my own.I prayed about it several times and still could not stop.The Lord brought me through it. I believe that if you continue to ask God to help you and you believe that He can,He will deliever you. I think He just wanted to see it I was really sincere about wanting to be delivered. It was truly bondage before He delivered me because I had no control over my desire to want to view porn. The devil wants us in any type of bondage or "sin slavery",( that's how I felt,as if I was a slave to my addiction). That's why porn is everywhere, the devil has made it easily accessable. Don't give up on God. If you don't give up on Him, He certainly won't give up on you. Further more, don't give up on yourself. What I found out also was that the closer I got to the Lord, the more I was able to not only stop viewing porn but I was able to stop lusting when I saw certain women. The two go hand in hand. These sins just naturally went away. When God took over,it was if I did not have to "work" to stop lusting and viewing porn. Once you overcome it,( and you will) the devil is going to keep trying to return you to those habits. He never gives up. The more you attempt to overcome these sins on your own, the harder it will be to do so. Let God do it.Get closer to Him. As you do, you will find that He really is able to deliver you. Read your Bible and talk to God. The prayer dosen't even have to be about the porn addcition. Just talk to Him about anything. It will bring you closer. Because the Lord knows everything past and future, He knew that one day we would have these addictions. It may be a surprise to us but not to Him because He knew everything that we would encounter in life. Take heart in this; though He is not happy about the addiction, He is happy that you acknowledge that there is a problem and you want to be delivered. The worst thing that can happen would be to be in bondage to porn,( or anything else) and not see anything wrong with it. Nothing is too big for the Lord.

 

Anonymous wrote:

im a pastor and im addicted to porn. All kinds. i cant be free from it and its always in my head! freedom seems so far away. i cant be a pastor who loves porn!!! help me lord

 

Anonymous wrote:

JT - Lord save me from my addiction... I want to be FREE! Help me Lord. Anyone who reads this, please pray for me!

 

Anonymous wrote:

when i was about 12 or 13 years old and started to go through puberty, i got curious about sex like every teenage boy does. so i decided to "research" sex and learn about it. but when i got online the first images that popped up were pictures of gay porn. it disgusted me to see it, but because it was my first exposure to anything to do with sex, it sucked me in. all throughout my teen years i kept looking up the gay porn as a way to relieve stress. and being a preacher's kid builds up a lot of stress. but the fact that i was looking up gay porn was another stress because i had to hide it from everyone, so started the vicious circle. as i went through middle and high school, i struggled with my sexual identity because of the gay porn. i didn't consider myself gay, but i kept thinking of the images i had seen on the internet and was confused by the appeal that they had on me.i never dated as a teenager, partly because i didn't want to have a realtionship that wouldn't last past high school but also partially because of my sexual ambivalence. i started getting sloppy with hiding it, so my parents found the porn on our computer about half-way through my first semester of senior year. my dad talked with me about it but it felt more like an investigation than it did an "i'm worried for you" conversation. because the porn was of a homosexual nature, they sent me too a christian counselor to talk about it. that went nowhere. he never took me seriously when i said i wasn't where i should be spiritually. he just said "you're very mature for your age, and seem to be right where you should be spiritually." he also said that i wasn't addicted to porn because it wasn't a "gotta have it" kind of thing, just a stress reliever. whatever. stress-reliever or not, it's an addiction, if only a minimal one. i still have trouble with it. every day. but i know now that i'm definitley not gay, it's just the images that i'm addicted to. i'm not naive enough to think that it'll just go away, it's gonna be a daily struggle. especially since life=stress. just this summer i lost my grandma to liver disease, which caused me to look up the porn all over again to forget about all of the grief after having been clean for months. but i'm slowly getting help. i've talked to a friend about all of this, absolutely everything, and that has really helped me focus on getting and staying clean. non-transperency in the church needs to be obliterated. if i knew that i could trust the men in my church not to judge me, but to help me, my problem with porn and homosexuality could have been cut-off from the very beginning. but my fear of being rejected by the church and possibly losing my dad his job has made me bottle it all up for the last seven years. freedombeginshere.org has truly helped me realize that the only way to 'recover' is to talk about it. so speak up!