I just found out 5 months ago that my husband was a sex addict. We have been married for 31 years and I never knew! I know people think there is no way that I couldn't have known, but the man I saw was one that got up every morining and read his Bible and prayed, part of the Praise Band at church and acted like he was perfectly happy being married to me. God started to reveal to me in Sept what was going on. When God first told me that I had to deal with my husband's "sexual sin", I had no idea what He was talking about. The past 5 months have been the biggest hell you could imagine. God has walked us through months of VERY disturbing confessions. The man I have learned about makes it seem as though we have had a 3rd person in our marriage from the very beginning! How sad this has been for me that our entire life together has been a lie. There were times that he went maybe a year without some type of affair or 1 night stand, but his mind and eyes fed the addiction when his body wasn't. He said he had prayed and fasted for years for God to deliver him but nothing ever worked. I saw a program on accountability on James Robison's show and that was what started us talking about what was going on. Don't get me wrong, he hasn't gone down without a fight. There were many nights that God would have me wake him up and tell him to get up that he had either lied to me about something or that he had only told me half of the truth. God's "word" for him from the very beginning was, "The only power Satan has over you is the hidden truth". Telling the truth for a person that has lied their entire life, is not an easy thing to learn. We are still working through the things he's done in the past trying to determine what got him there and how to avoid returning to it. I find it so sad that this man that I have loved since the age of 16 had such a tortured mind and soul and I NEVER knew it! I asked him last night what it was like to have never been able to share his secrets with anybody. To have never been known by another person. He said I was the first person that ever loved him enough to know him. How sad that made me for him! I encourage anybody that has struggled with this alone, pray about sharing it with your wife. I wish we had delt with this addiction BEFORE we got married. I pray that each and every person that is struggling with this will find the courage to get help and with the Lord's help, be freed from this nightmare. We end a 21 day fast tomorrow with great expectations on what God has in store for us. How He will use our testamony to help thousands of hurting people. We plan to be a living testament of the scripture about Joseph that what Satan meant for harm, God will use it for good!!!! God bless each and every one of you and may you find the peace that God has waiting for you!
Leave a comment