Anonymous wrote:

Good evening. I?m here to share with you how embracing God?s love and hope is helping to transform my life. MY LIFE BEFORE: Even though I knew Jesus when I was a youngster, my life didn?t always show it. Before starting counseling, my life was reckless, out of control, misguided and going nowhere. I was into drugs, drinking, and pretty much just an ungodly lifestyle ? anything to numb myself so I couldn?t feel the pain. I recently had a very serious wake-up call. Without going into details, I?m facing criminal charges and my wife asked me to move out. I miss my wife and children terribly. I was telling myself lies that I couldn?t do anything to change my life. I told myself I couldn?t make my life move in a different direction. In hind sight, I was running from being molested as a child by an uncle (and by the way, this was also the start of my addiction to porn ? the tool he used to seduce his victims). I continued to run and keep the secret for more than 30 years, but God was there waiting for me when I hit a wall, stopped running and came back to Him. MY LIFE DURING: When I finally reached out for help, I found New Hope?s ministry. Counseling is helping me in many ways - talking with someone and reading what my counselor suggested. My reading list: #1 was the Bible and then other titles related to my issues. I?m learning that I am not alone or the only one with these issues. The books are helping me understand what I?m going through and helping me heal from the scars of my abuse. I?m learning the depth of the affect the abuse has on my mind. In counseling, we figured out that music is the connection to my soul - how I connect with my feelings. I learned my old music was helping to reinforce the lies I was telling myself. It was negative, the exact opposite of uplifting, and it kept me down in my pit of despair. My moment of enlightenment came one day when I was scanning through radio stations and came across 91.9 Word FM. I had an overwhelming feeling of ?this is it?. Every hair stood on end and I just wept. I wiped the music slate clean and threw away all that music, literally, because I erased my iPod clean that day. My new music helps me realize that God DOES still love me and I CAN change my life. By being more positive and not always looking at the negative points of my life. I could do it one day at a time, one step at a time, with God?s help. As my new music collection grows, I noticed songs I had in my old collection. I think He was knocking, trying to get my attention. I even found a Bible to load on my iPod. My childhood and self-understanding were stolen from me, but I am healing from the effects of the loss. I AM a survivor! I truly believe in my heart that I wouldn?t be up here sharing my story if not for the Christian counseling and the support I am getting from my parents and sister. THANK YOU for being good Christian role models for me ? not judging me, just loving me and helping me. I am grateful for everyone who is so supportive. MY LIFE AFTER: I?m still counseling and don?t know how long it will continue. Only God knows when that will be. But I know I will do my part, keep trying and move on to a better life in Jesus. I still have legal issues to deal with as a result of my actions, and I still hope God?s plan leads me back to my family. I know with God?s help, I will make it through no matter what the outcome. MY MESSAGE TO YOU & OTHERS: You or someone you know may be running from something that happened in their past, or something happening now ? doing anything to avoid dealing with the issue. Don?t be afraid to talk to someone, to reach out. Don?t believe the threats ? talk to someone you trust. It?s not your fault and there is hope and a way out. Just because you were abused, doesn?t mean you will become an abuser. There?s no reason to hate yourself. I can?t bring my abuser to justice, but I hope I can help someone else. Getting help NOW can break the cycle ? and may mean one less victim. One less victim of the lies you tell yourself to try and protect yourself from people you thought you could trust. It?s never too late to set your life on the right course. That course is the one that leads to Jesus; He can help you understand that you?re not the person you think you are. He will always love you. VERSE


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