Turning Struggle into Triumph: What We Can Learn About Sexual Addiction from 50 Shades of Grey

Given its popularity, especially with the release of the most recent

movie, Fifty Shades Darker, based on the series of books, 50 Shades of

Grey has been a common topic of conversation. While some critics find the

content of these books disgusting and offensive, others find them

titillating and enjoyable. For more still, these books paint the portrait

of two broken souls who turn to sexual addiction as a way to cope with the

pain and lack of self-esteem they’ve experienced in their lives.


It’s true that many people give into sexual addiction as a way to satisfy

the demons within them. Unfortunately, this addiction does little more

than make things worse. Sexual addiction isn’t glamorous. As with other

addictions, sexual addiction leaves in its wake <a


victims</a>, both men and women, whose scars may never heal.


<b>The Truth Behind the Characters</b>


In the novel, Christian Grey is a handsome man of means, while Ana Steele

is a plain Jane woman who can’t believe someone so charming and perfect

could be interested in her. Early on you learn that Christian grew up with

an abusive, drug addict mother who inflicted unspeakable pain on him,

leaving him with emotional scars he couldn’t cope with. Upon being

introduced to the BDSM lifestyle, he essentially turned to sexual

addiction as a means to take away the residual pain of his childhood.


Ana, on the other hand, allows her self-doubt to control her, driving her

to do anything and be anything for a man who is clearly abusing her.

Although she is an educated woman, she loses herself in her need to

satisfy Christian, doing everything she can to keep him happy and with



<b>The Truth About Sexual Addiction</b>


Although 50 Shades of Grey has a happy ending, this is not the case for

most people affected by sexual addiction. The addict is left with a daily

struggle to control their urges, while their spouse is left feeling

shamed, isolated, and insecure about themselves and their ability to

please their partner. And honestly, would people idealize and fantasize

about finding their own Christian Grey if he wasn’t handsome and

successful, but rather an everyday Joe off the street? It’s unfortunate

that looks and money tend to overshadow the clear signs of abuse.


<b>Finding Help in Your Struggle</b>


Rather than giving in to this harmful and dangerous lifestyle, there are

some things you can do to heal and overcome your sexual addiction:


- Find support—be open and honest about your addiction and seek the help

of a therapist to learn the skills you need to manage your addiction.


- Be positive—while it’s easy to think poorly of yourself, you need to

stop that. Right now. Taking time to meditate and practice positive

affirmations can make a world of difference in your ability to overcome.


- Identify triggers—figure out where your temptations lie and avoid them

completely. If pornography is something you struggle with, consider

avoiding even non-pornographic movies with nudity or implied sexual



- Motivate yourself—write yourself a letter including the reasons you’ve

chosen to seek help for your addiction. Be positive and encouraging to

help re-motivate yourself on the days you’re struggling the most.


- Remember that you’re human—being human means making mistakes. You’ll

likely slip up a time or two during recovery because breaking old habits

is hard, especially when those habits become addictions. Take it easy on

yourself and use slip ups as a motivational tool to recommit yourself to

your recovery.


<b>Just Keep Trying</b>


The road to recovery is a long one, but with the <a


help</a> and a realistic mindset, you can do it. It takes strength and

courage to admit you have a problem—you’re already well on your way.


About the Author: Danielle Adams is a freelance writer who works with <a

href="http://www.lifestartherapy.com/">Lifestar Therapy</a>. She is

committed to helping people practice open communication and build healthy


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