Given its popularity, especially with the release of the most recent
movie, Fifty Shades Darker, based on the series of books, 50 Shades of
Grey has been a common topic of conversation. While some critics find the
content of these books disgusting and offensive, others find them
titillating and enjoyable. For more still, these books paint the portrait
of two broken souls who turn to sexual addiction as a way to cope with the
pain and lack of self-esteem they’ve experienced in their lives.
It’s true that many people give into sexual addiction as a way to satisfy
the demons within them. Unfortunately, this addiction does little more
than make things worse. Sexual addiction isn’t glamorous. As with other
addictions, sexual addiction leaves in its wake <a
victims</a>, both men and women, whose scars may never heal.
<b>The Truth Behind the Characters</b>
In the novel, Christian Grey is a handsome man of means, while Ana Steele
is a plain Jane woman who can’t believe someone so charming and perfect
could be interested in her. Early on you learn that Christian grew up with
an abusive, drug addict mother who inflicted unspeakable pain on him,
leaving him with emotional scars he couldn’t cope with. Upon being
introduced to the BDSM lifestyle, he essentially turned to sexual
addiction as a means to take away the residual pain of his childhood.
Ana, on the other hand, allows her self-doubt to control her, driving her
to do anything and be anything for a man who is clearly abusing her.
Although she is an educated woman, she loses herself in her need to
satisfy Christian, doing everything she can to keep him happy and with
<b>The Truth About Sexual Addiction</b>
Although 50 Shades of Grey has a happy ending, this is not the case for
most people affected by sexual addiction. The addict is left with a daily
struggle to control their urges, while their spouse is left feeling
shamed, isolated, and insecure about themselves and their ability to
please their partner. And honestly, would people idealize and fantasize
about finding their own Christian Grey if he wasn’t handsome and
successful, but rather an everyday Joe off the street? It’s unfortunate
that looks and money tend to overshadow the clear signs of abuse.
<b>Finding Help in Your Struggle</b>
Rather than giving in to this harmful and dangerous lifestyle, there are
some things you can do to heal and overcome your sexual addiction:
- Find support—be open and honest about your addiction and seek the help
of a therapist to learn the skills you need to manage your addiction.
- Be positive—while it’s easy to think poorly of yourself, you need to
stop that. Right now. Taking time to meditate and practice positive
affirmations can make a world of difference in your ability to overcome.
- Identify triggers—figure out where your temptations lie and avoid them
completely. If pornography is something you struggle with, consider
avoiding even non-pornographic movies with nudity or implied sexual
- Motivate yourself—write yourself a letter including the reasons you’ve
chosen to seek help for your addiction. Be positive and encouraging to
help re-motivate yourself on the days you’re struggling the most.
- Remember that you’re human—being human means making mistakes. You’ll
likely slip up a time or two during recovery because breaking old habits
is hard, especially when those habits become addictions. Take it easy on
yourself and use slip ups as a motivational tool to recommit yourself to
<b>Just Keep Trying</b>
The road to recovery is a long one, but with the <a
help</a> and a realistic mindset, you can do it. It takes strength and
courage to admit you have a problem—you’re already well on your way.
About the Author: Danielle Adams is a freelance writer who works with <a
href="http://www.lifestartherapy.com/">Lifestar Therapy</a>. She is
committed to helping people practice open communication and build healthy