From the Blog

PORN - The New Four Letter Word in the Church

Ignoring a life threatening problem that you know exists, is tantamount to a slow suicide. Yet, many churches refuse to deal with such a threat.

Sexual sin and pornography are that sickness.

Much like mold that's growing behind a wall, under a floor or in a dark basement corner, are pornography discussions in the church. They are icky and people would rather not hear about it and, want someone else to deal with it, if at all. 

In other words, it's left up to those who are willing, if any, to get their hands dirty, messy and to clean it up. 

Far too often, no one is willing.

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Getting Your Attention!

 I recently decided to refresh my knowledge on statistics regarding pornography use by children 18 years old and younger. I visited Covenant Eyes' website for the latest information.  I will make one statement that will stagger you as it pertains to how big this problem is.  In 2010 Covenant Eyes released a report on this crisis in our youth today.  The statement is that only 3% of boys and 17% of girls have NOT seen pornography before they turn 18.  It was odd to see the stats turned completely around and somehow it had a bigger impact on me... and I have been looking at these statistics for years.

 

Some of this is because kids do lots of research for school on the Internet and occasionally hit the wrong key.  But it should rock our world that for the most part we are not doing anything to change the way we deal with our children on this issue.  Very few of us know how easy it is for our children access pornography.   We need to take control of this area for our children because even with controls our children will see too much.

 

I was one of those parents who did not see the danger in this area.  Some of that was because of my own issues with pornography.  I didn't want the controls because I knew it would affect my own ability to access the Internet. I was also fooled to think that my children would control themselves and this would not be a problem.

 

Below is the link to the Covenant Eyes stats on under 18 year old usage of pornography on the Internet.  My hope is that you will be shocked by some of the information and begin to take measures to protect your children.

 

click here

 

 

"Start the Conversation" Discussion Questions

Jacob’s Story: Purity

  • Since God created sex and it is good (within marriage) why do we struggle to talk about it?


  • Why would it be a struggle having sex at an early age?


  • How do choices now affect future relationships?


  • What is purity? What are you told that it is at church? At school?


  • Do you want your parents to sit down and to be honest with you?


  • Why do we have so many misconceptions about sex and why do we avoid discussing it in church? How do we protect ourselves in this sexually saturated society?



Joy’s Story: Self-Image

  • What types of messages does culture send to us?


  • What does it mean to guard you heart?


  • How can relationships be difficult? Are Christians that are relationship more complex?


  • Is physical image the most important feature when you choose a boyfriend or girlfriend, or is it something else to you? What is it?


  • Why do you think God asks for sexual patience?


  • Besides just saying NO, are we being taught in church how to navigate through culture when God says one thing and culture says another?


Jamie’s Story: Talk About It

  • How are we supposed to help people who have struggles?


  • What did you do the first time you saw porn? Does that image remain with you?


  • Did you ever feel you were the odd man out in a conversation around sex? How did it make you feel?


  • Who have you had conversations around sex? Do you have an parent or adult to talk about sexual issues or questions?


  • If so many good people are involved in porn, sex, etc. why is it a touchy subject?


  • Who do you know that you can help that no on else is helping?


Kevin’s Story: Confronting The Issues

  • Do you prefer to confront big issues or to ignore them? Why?


  • Do you think porn and sex is rampant in our culture?


  • Do you believe 12 to 17 year olds are the largest users of Internet porn?


  • How is God view of sex different from our cultures view? What do you think?


  • How can we personally support purity and not come off as judgmental?


JD’s Story: Integrity

  • Discovery of porn on the internet…. how has it affected you?


  • How does porn affect relationships? Have you known someone affect by it?


  • So when we view porn or have sex does it affect other people?


  • What characteristic of Christ do you think that people see in you? What characteristics would you like them to see?


  • What is grace? Are there limits to grace?


Sarah’s Story: Vulnerable Situations

  • What did parents teach you? Baseball, swimming, instrument etc…


  • Have you been in situations that were uncomfortable with the opposite sex? How do we avoid these situations?


  • In you have a sex question, who do you go to?


  • James 5:16 “Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed”. Do you do this? Why or why not?


  • What does it mean that God is strong in our weakness? Does God give us more than we can handle?


Jimmy’s Story: Porn

  • Have you ever felt isolated with your struggles?


  • Have you every felt you were not in control of your sin?


  • Confession is good? Yes or No?


  • Has someone walked you through a difficult time? Have you ever been that “one” to anyone?


  • Why is it often harder to do right than to do wrong?


Wes’s Story: Sex

  • Does everyone struggle so why does everyone act perfect?


  • How is pornography addiction different from drugs and drinking? How is it the same?


  • Is purity good or bad … realistic or not?


  • Should we always avoid “awkward”? When should we not?


  • Is it awkward to talk about seex after we get started talking about it?

 

Video Blog: Episode 5

Having trouble with this video? Try the YouTube version - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-Vh522hRSw

IN THIS EPISODE:
- University of Maryland to screen porn film
- Connie's Story

Start the Conversation

Don't forget to check out our latest DVD release, Start the Conversation!

• Features 8 Christian Musicians
• Stories of struggle, grace, and redemption
• Perfect for youth groups
• Bonus videos

Rush of Fools, Joy Lippard, Jimmy Needham and Sarah Reeves! Artists from the Wonder of the World Tour share stories of sex, image, pornography, purity, family, marriage and growing up.

Fast-paced, real and motivational, this is one DVD you will not want to miss out on!

LifeWay Youth Pastors Conference

From Hershey, we traveled to Nashville for the LifeWay Youth Pastor’s Conference. Over 300 youth pastors assembled to better equip themselves to lead their youth groups.

Sadly, there is no doubt that youth are taking the brunt of the pornography crisis. 12 to 17 year olds are the largest consumers of Internet pornography. Most of the youth pastors we spoke with are proactively dealing with this issue in their youth groups. However, we met several who were either intentionally avoiding it, didn’t think it was an issue among their kids, or were not allowed to approach it as instructed by the senior pastor. Tragic isn’t it? If a child's first exposure to hard core Internet porn happens around age 11, and we are not helping them deal with the images that are now forever implanted in their brain, don't act surprised when you find out five years later that they see nothing wrong with oral sex, masturbation, etc. They think, "We're not having intercourse, so we’re not having sex." Sorry to be so blunt, but that is the reality of what this sexually charged culture is telling our kids.

On a lighter note, we drove through 10 states on this trip and saw all kinds of fun stuff...like this van: