When you hold your marriage up to a mirror what do you see? What should you see?
The image I pray to see is that of the image of Christ and his relationship to the church. He set the example for us to follow. Unselfish sacrificial love and devotion is the height of the bar.
The book of Ephesians in chapter 5 puts it in God's words. Some of the words your about to read have fueled our culture to become quite upset. Sometimes the truth is hard to take, but it's still the truth.
Here we go. Eph 5: 22-24 "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
What proceeds verse 22 in 21 is this; "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Ok, husbands pay attention. God has a command for us. Eph 5:25-27 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
Whether you have stumbled onto this blog by accident or you are intentionally reaching out for some answers, please know that you are not alone. Whether you have "caught" your husband looking at porn or he has came to you with his confession, I understand. It hurts. Just to say it hurts doesn't really seem to equate to how you are feeling. It's deeper, way deeper. Something inside of you feels at though it's died and you are left grieving that loss. The emotions that you are going through, at times, may seem unbearable. I understand. I would love to take your beautiful face in my hands and tell you it has NOTHING to do with you!! I know that is so hard to believe, but it is true. I would love to hug you and tell you that you are loved deeply by the One who created YOU!! I would love to speak to your wounded heart and tell you there is HOPE. I long to carry you to the healer, to the ONE who understands rejection and betrayal like no other. It is in that place that I know you will find peace and comfort in the days ahead. His word tells us that He is close to the brokenhearted. He is close to YOU, my friend!!
Dear sister, no matter what you are facing today, God's Word is the place to turn for peace, comfort, and wisdom. His promises are for YOU!! His Word is HIS LOVE LETTER TO YOU. Please don't underestimate the power of His Word. It is alive and active and can bring healing to your wounded heart.
His Word will speak to you right where you are at. I want to encourage you to find a scripture or two that speaks to your heart and meditate on it until you believe it with all your heart. Cling to Jesus, He will not fail you! Here are a few to get you started.....
I see all of your hardships and I care about your sufferings. Psalm 31:7
My unending love for you will never leave you. Isa 54:10
You can trust me - I will never forsake you. Psalm 9:10
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. Isa 43:1
You are precious and honored in my sight, and....I love you! Isa 43:4
Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders. Deut. 33:12
Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. 1 Chron. 28:20
The king (is) enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord. Ps. 45:11
For you are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Eph. 2:10
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares for you. 1 Pet. 5:7
I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me. Phil. 4:13
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov. 11:28
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust". Ps 91:1-2
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness the prisoners. Isa 61:1
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jer. 29:11
Most churches make it difficult for there to be transparency when it comes to sexual sins. It's just not socially acceptable in our christian circles. These issues are seldom talked about or addressed. If they are, it's only on rare occasions. If an alter call is given for those struggling with porn or sexual addictions, the alter, in most churches, will remain empty. It is too shameful and too risky.
Why is that? In a world where we are bombarded with sexual images and promiscuity, it really makes no sense.
Just walk through the halls of your local high school. No fear there. Teenagers are talking about it and not even batting an eye. Why isn't the church a comfortable place to address such things? Why do we make it so taboo when it is all around us?
These issues are real and they are destroying families and tearing our nation apart.
Statistics prove that the majority of those addicted to porn are not outside the church any longer, but sitting in our church pews, leading our youth groups, and even preaching from our pulpits. So, why aren't we talking about it? This silence has left us vulnerable and as prime targets for the enemy.
Shouldn't Pastors everywhere be speaking TRUTH about these issues and WARNING the body of Christ about these types of seductions? Not just once a year, but continually? After all, let's be real....what do most men and, yes...even "christian" men, think about? What do most teenagers think about? SEX. And yet, it is the least thing talked about in our churches today.
However, our culture handles it just the opposite. No guessing what the majority boldly proclaims. They make it quite clear. And they are not at all sorry for it or ashamed of it. They bombard us with sexual images and innuendos day in and day out. It's all over the TV, the movies, in the media, on the internet....it is everywhere. They are portraying a twisted, tainted view of sexuality and they have everyone's attention.
The longer the church keeps silent the more causalities there will be in this war against the enemy.
How are our boys and men going to know how to handle this kind of assault if they are not equipped? How will they learn the proper way to view women? How will they learn the truths that will help them avoid the traps that satan sets for them on a daily basis?
No doubt, we are all being taught everyday by the world's standards. Standards which have lost the meaning of virtue and purity all together. What used to be unacceptable is now the norm. Could it be that the church is no longer grieved by the things that grieve the heart of God? The truth is, our hearts are being seared. Yes, we claim to be followers of Christ, but just look at the statistics. Not only is the porn statistics staggering but the divorce rate is as high in the church as those outside the church. Many of those divorces have porn and/or other sexual addictions at the hem.
Why is this? Is the church failing?
It is my opinion that we can no longer be silent.
We need to teach and equip with regards to these kinds of issues as boldly and unashamedly as the world portrays them.
We need to take back the values that exemplify the character of Christ.
I want to encourage, and to beg Pastors everywhere to be bold, to speak the real hard truths, and to expose the lies of the enemy.
Being the wife of a former porn addict I realize I am so much more passionate about this then most, but shouldn't we all be?
Not only are we not talking about these issues, but we are not helping those who need it. Instead of finding freedom from such things at the alters of our churches, in community with believers..... those held captive are walking away bound, wounded, and fearful of being exposed.
The truth is, if our alters are empty because men and women are afraid to admit they are struggling, (because many are), then something needs to change. We need to create an environment of freedom where they can be real and transparent. Where else can a man or woman turn who desires help and needs support? They need Jesus. They need the church to be as Christ meant for it to be. A place they can run to, not run away from. Just sayin'. What do you think?