From the Blog

We need your help!

When I see the stats regarding “Christian” men who are struggling with an addiction to porn my heart breaks! Why? Because for every husband who is struggling there is a wife who is broken.  She is left hurt, isolated, full of shame… not knowing where to turn. Her husband’s secret is now her secret and she is being destroyed from the inside out.  These wounded sisters need help.  They need a safe place where they can be understood and encouraged.  I am SO thankful to share with you that Freedom Begins Here is offering such a place.  We have created a closed Facebook page for these women to find HOPE and ENCOURAGEMENT from other women who have experienced healing and wholeness in Christ.  The Facebook page is called "In Your Shoes" and can be found  by clicking on the link above.

We also have a support group of women in Northwest Arkansas who meet on a monthly basis.  You can find out more info about that OR encouragement for starting your own by visiting www.freedombeginshere.org and clicking on the contact tab.

SO……………. How can YOU help?

**If YOU love someone who struggles with a porn addiction, this ministry is for YOU!  It may be a husband, daughter or son.  It doesn’t matter.  This is your personal invitation to join us.  You do NOT have to walk through this difficult season alone.  There is HOPE in Christ and in community with sisters who will love you, support you and encourage you on your journey towards healing and wholeness! Friend, be courageous and join us today!

**If YOU are a woman who has experienced healing in Christ from this kind of betrayal, please carefully consider joining us in ministering to those who are wounded.  (2 Cor 1:3-4)  The pain in your past can be used for GOOD!  Friend, Trust me, you do not have to be a counselor or psychologist...all you have to be is available.  As God has comforted you, you can comfort others and give them HOPE.  You WILL be blessed by being a blessing!

**If YOU know of anyone who you feel would benefit from this ministry, please pass this information along to them.

**If none of the above applies to you, we STILL need YOUR support.  We ask for your prayers.  

Pray for our sisters, husbands, children, families, churches, and nation to be set FREE from the seduction of porn that is running rampant in our world today.  Pray that darkness would be brought to light.  Pray that the body of Christ will step up and address sexual issues as boldly and unashamedly as the world portrays them.  Pray that our churches, families and future generations will KNOW the TRUTH and be equipped to handle this war strategically and intentionally.

Together we CAN make a difference!

Sisters Supporting Sisters

Being the wife of a husband who has struggled with an addiction to porn is a difficult cross to bear.  Isolation and loneliness can become the norm in order to hide the shame this brings to the heart of a woman.  I understand.  However, as I have found in my own life, in order to become healthy, you MUST at some point, reach out to someone that can encourage you and help you to make sense of the emotions you battle everyday.  Not only do you need a trusted Pastor and/or counselor but a woman who understands....one who can share the road to healing with you. One who knows what it is like to walk through this kind of betrayal.

 

How do you find such a person?

First and foremost is prayer.  Pray that God would send that friend to you.  A divine connection in which she can help you and you can help her.  A woman who will encourage you and be quick to point you to Jesus.    Chances are, you may already be friends with a woman who has been broken by her husband's addiction to porn, but too ashamed for others to know.

 

Beyond finding a sister to share this journey with you I want to encourage you to become involved with a support system, a group of women that you meet with on a regular basis who are passionate about becoming the women God has designed for them to be. Not in spite of their husband's addiction but because of it! No doubt, God will use these women to strengthen you and help you on your journey to wholeness.

Continue Reading >

We Need Each Other

You see her, Sunday after Sunday.  You notice how pretty she is.  She seems to be everything that you aren't. Everyone seems to like her.  She seems to have the "happily ever after" that you only dream about!  Her marriage is perfect.  Great family, great kids.  She always smiles, always seems to have it all together.  You have her all figured out.  You assume she never gets angry.  She never yells at her kids.  She never misses her daily time with Jesus. You are so sure that she never feels awkward or insecure.  There is a big part of you that wishes your life was more like hers.  For you, life has been so unfair.  You think if she had half the problems you do, she certainly wouldn't be smiling so much.  She is so intimidating to you.  Why would she want to be friends with someone like you?  Your life is so messy.  She certainly wouldn't understand.


So what do you do?  You keep your distance.  You may even avoid her at times.  Even though she has tried to reach out to you, your assumptions about her will not allow a relationship to take root.


But, what if your assumptions are all wrong????  What if the thoughts you are having are not reality at all?

Continue Reading >

We Ask in Faith!

Insert Video

 

I am a single mother to three wonderful boys. Their father struggled with pornography and infidelity all of our marriage and eventually ended up leaving us when our oldest son was eight years old. That son is now 14 years old and I discovered, about a year ago, that he had been regularly seeking out and viewing pornography on the internet.

When I confronted him with what I had found he totally denied that he had been doing it even though the evidence was undeniable. I put software on the computer and addressed the issue as best as I knew how. I sought advice from our Pastor as well as my sons Youth Pastor. After meeting with his Youth Pastor my son finally confessed to what he had been doing. I would periodically ask him if he was struggling with the temptation of porn again just to keep checked in and keep him accountable. He would, with seemingly heartfelt conviction, remind me that was in his past. He would state that he reminded himself daily of the struggle and his desire to stay pure. He even kept a piece of a cinder block on his dresser that he got from the Youth Pastor after a message about how sin weighs us down but Christ can break us free from the addictions that we have. It seemed like we had met the issue head on and won.

Fast forward now almost a year and once again he is viewing pornography online and adamantly denying it even when the proof is un deniably right in front of us. I am scared for him and where this will lead for him if I don’t a) get him to see that he needs confess to the wrong he is doing and accept responsibility for it. b) help him to see the danger of pornography and why it is so wrong other than just because I say it is. I need for him to believe for himself that it is harmful I need to help him find a way to personal conviction in this matter. My son is not a reader so if you can point me to some audio or visual aids to help me reach him I would really appreciate it. I don't want to sound like I am looking for a hand out but I feel I need to be totally honest about my situation in order to get information that can be useful to me. What I mean by that is I am raising my three boys on my income alone and I make just barely over minimum wage so I would really appreciate if any information or resources you are able to point me to be either free or extremely inexpensive. I am desperate to help my son however I am limited to what I can do financially. I have seen firsthand the damage pornography can do and it breaks my heart for him. I appreciate your time and any resources you can send my way. Thank you so very much.

Sincerely,
Mom

 

We ask in Faith! A message from our board.

Hebrews 11:1 says this, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Last Thursday night, the Transparent Ministries board was arriving for our monthly meeting. As the last board member walked in, he said, “Brent there is a guy outside saying he is supposed to be at this meeting.” We looked at each other perplexed. We were all there. Who was this guy? Brent went out to talk to him as the rest of us started the meeting.

But this meeting quickly took a turn for the worst.

With Brent still out of the room, we looked at the financials from the past few months. Product sales are down. Support from donors and friends of the ministry are down.

What were we looking at? Well, let’s be TRANSPARENT. If we didn’t leave this room with a serious plan, the ministry would definitely have to start functioning differently within a month.

Just as we started talking about ways to cut expenses, Brent walked back into the room and sat down. We were focused on important business matters and didn’t stop to ask what the guy outside wanted. We were able to make a few plans and started cutting our already bare bone expenses. Then it hit us like a ton of bricks. This is not our ministry. It is His.

Now I could start quoting statistics to you about the destruction pornography has caused in this world, but you’ve heard that from us since the beginning. I could even share with you my own story of struggling with pornography as a kid, as a young man in college, and the continual temptation it is today but to what end? Reality is we have an issue among us not only in the world, but right in the middle of the Church. It is no secret that pornography is the most secretive and destructive sin we face today. It is not only tearing wounds in the heart of the individual it is tearing apart the very institution God created—the family and the larger body of Christ. The hardest thing about it is that very few people or churches want to address it and talk about it, or give credibility to the havoc it is causing in people and families today. I promise you it will not go away by ignoring it.

Transparent Ministries is addressing it and we want to help others address it in their own lives. We want to help churches address it in their congregations. But we are not satisfied with just addressing it. We want to see freedom take the place of chains. We want to see wounds healed. We want to see marriages and families restored, and the body of Christ take back what the world has made so ugly, distasteful, and shameful. But, this is just not our heart. Psalm 107:20 says, “He sent out his Word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.” This message is the very heart of God, and he sent his son so that we all may leave in freedom.

What’s the bottom line? We need your help. In order for Transparent Ministries to continue helping people and the Church get free from the addiction of pornography, we need $3,500 a month in sales and support just to make ends meet. This is a bare bones budget meaning it covers few expenses and pays Brent a small salary to be the face of TM, meet with those struggling, speak at churches and schools, and attend conferences to teach and encourage, and mail products as they are ordered. Currently, we are bringing in roughly $1,000 to $1,300 a month. Meaning we need to bring in between $26,000 and $30,000 to see Transparent Ministries continue to operate in 2013.

So how can you help? We are not looking for donors, we are looking for partners. We know it takes more than money. We are looking for partners to not only give sacrificially to the area of freedom of the sin and chains of pornography, but we are asking for your prayers. Prayer is powerful and effective and must be the foundation of this ministry. It is the key to seeing addictions broken.  So would you first take time to pray and seek the Lord on his heart for this area of addiction and pain, then ask Him what you are to do? If the Lord lays upon your heart to give, there are many ways to do that. You can send your check to:

Transparent Ministries
PO Box 7093
Siloam Springs, AR 72761

Or you can give online at www.freedombeginshere.org/donate/ 

By the way, the guy that showed up at our meeting. He was a man ravished in the sin and addiction of pornography and was desperate to get out of it. He had heard from a friend that we were meeting and he came to get help. Brent ministered to him and set up a meeting to start him on his path to freedom. There are many others like this guy wanting and needing help. As Hebrews 11:1 states, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” We now hope and have faith in the Lord that He will provide and help us help others.Thank you for considering praying for and giving to Transparent Ministries.

In His Service,
TM Board

We Need Each Other

You see her, Sunday after Sunday. You notice how pretty she is. She seems to be everything that you aren't. Everyone seems to like her. She seems to have the "happily ever after" that you only dream about! Her marriage is perfect. Great family, great kids. She always smiles, always seems to have it all together. You have her all figured out. You assume she never gets angry. She never yells at her kids. She never misses her daily time with Jesus. You are so sure that she never feels awkward or insecure. There is a big part of you that wishes your life was more like hers. For you, life has been so unfair. You think if she had half the problems you do, she certainly wouldn't be smiling so much. She is so intimidating to you. Why would she want to be friends with someone like you? Your life is so messy. She certainly wouldn't understand.
So what do you do? You keep your distance. You may even avoid her at times. Even though she has tried to reach out to you, your assumptions about her will not allow a relationship to take root.
But, what if your assumptions are all wrong???? What if the thoughts you are having are not reality at all?
Can I be frank with you, dear sister? If you look closer, with your heart and not with your eyes you may see something you never noticed before. She is a woman just like you, a woman with a story. Her life is not perfect as you have invisioned. She may look peaceful and happily married but it did not come without a price. She is not what you think. Maybe if you befriended her, you would find out that she struggles, has insecurities and a heart that is covered with scars. Maybe if you reached out to her, got to know her, shared your own story with her...you would know the truth about her instead of the imaginary picture that keeps you at a distance. Maybe you could help her and she could help you. Please, dear sister, stop the assumptions. Open your heart and allow the walls that keep you from connecting with your sisters in Christ to come down once and for all.
Bottom line....we need each other. We were not created to go through this journey of life in seclusion. Relationships are what God uses to fulfill His plans and purposes on this earth. It is through these relationships that we learn more about ourselves and the LOVE of Christ.
It is in the confines of community that our character is molded and shaped to be more like HIM. We need real relationships with our sisters in Christ. Not only do our relationships challenge and change us for His Glory, they also are a mighty force against the enemy and his schemes. Satan is quite aware of what happens when we come together in the name of Jesus. That is why he wants you to be paralyzed by your perceptions in such a way that you miss what is real. He WANTS you to stay in seclusion. He knows how powerful the encouragement and wisdom of a Godly woman is to a sister who is broken. He knows how powerful the prayer of agreement is when sisters in Christ unite. The giftings, the sensitivity, the passion and the discernment that God has placed in each one of us is a force to be reckoned with. He knows that when we engage in spiritual warfare on behalf of our sisters, our husbands, our children, our communities....... something changes.
Together, we are stronger and together we can win battles as we lock our shields in prayer. We must not be blinded by what we percieve to be truth about our sisters in the body of Christ. We must not allow the enemy to separate us or to seclude us.
I have been BOTH of the women mentioned above....too insecure to befriend a woman who seemed to be all that I wasn't AND I have also been misjudged to the point that I was kept at a distance. In both cases, wrong assumptions and perceptions stole the blessings that might have been.
Lord, help us to not allow insecurities and our perception of others keep us from the divine connections that you have for us. Convict our hearts where we are judging instead of loving. May we see others through your eyes. Help us to reach out and befriend those you place in our paths. Lord, you know this can be scary. For those of us who have been hurt by others, this can seem downright risky. Deliver us from our fears and help us to live life in community with our sisters in Christ. Help us to find joy in our journey as we share our lives with others. Help us to be real and transparent so that others will not be intimidated by what we seem to portray on the outside. I pray for my sisters that you will send divine friendships their way. That your daughters may embrace all that you have for them. May our influence point others to YOU in such a way that lives are changed for YOUR GLORY. May we be a powerful force that pushes back the enemy as we join together in friendship and love. For such a time as this!! AMEN!!!!!

Thanks for your Support!

On behalf of Freedom Begins Here, we just wanted to thank everyone who has shown support over the last couple of days! There has been an overwhelming response from some of our recent sessions and the James Robison show yesterday and today.

A lot of you may be finding your way here, but are unsure what to do next. Here's some tips:

1) Check out our free video downloads under the VIDEOS tab on the top left of the page.
2) Educate yourself! We have a lot of material here: books, videos, DVD resources. Most of them are geared for people who are struggling with porn and sexual addictions themselves, but we have found that if anybody educates themselves by watching and reading our resources, they are just that more able to help someone in need.
3) Tell someone. Chances are you came here because you yourself are struggling with these difficult issues, or because you know (or pretty sure you know) someone who is. Educate yourself about our resources and let them know.

Thanks again, and let's keep generating some of this support, tell people about us, email the link, embed a video to your facebook, tweet something that you find helpful.

There are a lot of people out there looking for help, but we need your help for them to find us!

Thanks!

-Jameson