When you hold your marriage up to a mirror what do you see? What should you see?
The image I pray to see is that of the image of Christ and his relationship to the church. He set the example for us to follow. Unselfish sacrificial love and devotion is the height of the bar.
The book of Ephesians in chapter 5 puts it in God's words. Some of the words your about to read have fueled our culture to become quite upset. Sometimes the truth is hard to take, but it's still the truth.
Here we go. Eph 5: 22-24 "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
What proceeds verse 22 in 21 is this; "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Ok, husbands pay attention. God has a command for us. Eph 5:25-27 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
As a NEW YEAR begins, many will take time to reflect on the past twelve months; the joys, the growth, the changes, the challenges along with the tears, the regrets, the losses, the hurts and the pain.
Although a new year is dawning, many have hurts from yesterday that will carry over.
Some sisters are still on their arduous journey of healing while others may have just begun. Friend, I don't know where this new year finds you, what hurts you woke up with today, what wounds are gaping open or what thoughts torment you. However, I do know that in the darkness of betrayal, Jesus illuminates that darkness with the light of His enduring love and there He embraces His beloved, broken daughter. Friend, this is where your healing begins!
When you got married your expectations were high, you were so in love. You had found someone you could finally give your heart to. Unfortunately, soon after the honeymoon, you found out that just because he was your husband and vowed to love you "till death do you part", he was human, imperfect and capable of causing you much pain. Two imperfect people coming together did not equal perfection like the childhood dreams you envisioned. This wasn't supposed to happen, Your husband was supposed to be the ONE person you could finally TRUST. With much disappointment, you realized that trust would, once again, be a struggle. SO then what?
My love letter to you.....
This is a very hard letter to write, I am struggling to find the words. I know you don't know me but I am all too familiar with you. I hope you will hear my heart as I share with you the impact you have had on my life and my marriage. Please bear with me as I preface this letter by giving you a glimpse of what my world has looked liked........
I normally do not write posts directly to husbands. Because of my own journey, my passion is to give hope to wives whose husbands have or are currently struggling with an addiction to porn. However, this post is different. I cannot keep silent on this subject any longer. As your sister in Christ, I write this in love and in hopes that God can use it to encourage you to be different from the husbands that I hear about. Please bear with me as I explain what I am talking about.
"I cry out to God, I run to Him in my pain, frustration and even shame. I just can't seem to get it all together. Why God, why can't you just "fix" me? Can't you just remove those ugly things deep in my heart that seem to still be there, forever a part of who I am? Lord Jesus, there is this battle, a struggle raging inside of my soul. I see the woman I WANT to be, the one I desire to be and I am so very far from that. She is buried beneath the hurts and insecurities. I thought you and I together had conquered these things once and for all, but here I am, finding myself in this cave of despair AGAIN. There are days when it seems the harder I try, the worse it gets. As if the ground that I had gained was all but lost and I find myself back at the beginning of it all. Old feelings, thoughts of the lies, the betrayal. They weigh heavy upon my soul like a weight with no mercy."
Have you ever had similar thoughts? You are NOT alone, my friend!