The statistics are staggering, fifty percent of Christian men are addicted to pornography. The cancerous infection of pornography is eating away at the hearts of the women behind the men who are addicted. I was one of those women. If you’re reading this, you probably are too.
I’ll be honest, that marriage didn’t survive. I was a mess. He was a mess. Together, we couldn’t begin to make things right. I’m convinced that you do the best you can with the information you have at the time. At that time, I knew diddly-squat about pornography addiction let alone what I could do about the tremendous sense of betrayal and pain I felt. I certainly was in no position to contribute to an environment that promoted healing.
Nevertheless, I was determined to fix my eyes on the God of Hope and begin a spiritual quest to redefine my life regardless of my husband’s daily choices. In the sixteen years since my first marriage ended, I’ve continued learning to allow God to meet my greatest needs, rather than expecting my (new) husband to do so. This is a long and learned process, a slow dance through brokenness in the arms of the Almighty.
I’ve written a book called When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography ~ Healing Your Broken Heart. Oh, I pray you’ll get a copy and start working through the healing process.
My book doesn’t promise a woman an overnight healing; rather, it offers tools to help you examine your current stage of grieving and teaches you what God’s Word has to say about overcoming the painful ramifications of your husband’s betrayal, cleansing your mind and heart of the hurtful, and perhaps graphic things you have seen, heard, said, and felt. In the book, I repeatedly show women passages of Scripture promising that God will meet you exactly where you are in the healing process. When Your Husband… stresses that a wife is only responsible for herself and the choices she makes. It’s not a handbook for fixing your husband. When Your Husband… points you to the One who is able to bring about restoration and reconciliation.
I’m so excited to be blogging regularly with Mindy Adams for Freedom Begins Here! (You are going to love getting to know Mindy too!) God has placed an enormous burden on my heart to open the Scriptures and share my life experiences in order to share His grace and faithfulness and to draw other women into a lifelong pursuit of knowing Him. I’m living proof that God can and will do beautiful things with the broken pieces of your heart. Psalm 147:3 reminds us that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
I’ve been a speaker and author for more than ten years, and I’ve shared my story countless times and heard the tear-filled stories of more women than I can name. There’s comfort in knowing that you aren’t alone on this journey, that others have walked this path and come out on the other side – hopeful, strong in the Lord, and able to trust again. I’ve watched God restore marriages again and again. He is able.
I look forward to beginning a dialogue with you and other women like us. You are on a journey you never chose and you’re making the voyage with a broken heart. I’m confident, friend, that God can and will see you through to a place of health and renewal. Please, come back often to our blog here at Freedom Begins Here and let us encourage you on your quest for healing.