Sex is beautiful. Sex is good. Sex is created to be enjoyable. Sex is God's idea and creation, so how could it be anything but glorious?
When mankind pursues it in any fashion other than God designed it, it's bad, perverse, and wrong. Period.
"You will not surely die" is the most deadly lie ever told and believed. Eve bought the lie and Adam failed to defend his wife and thus "through one man" did sin and death enter the world.
In this failure of Adam his marriage to Eve was damaged. Sex that was intended to be perfect, sinless and undefiled was made vulnerable to a sinful mankind and our choices. And bad ones we've made.
Shame makes it's debut as well.
The Garden Variety Lie of Today
Pornography is the Garden of Eden lie of Satan to the world today. It's a lie against marriage, the family and seeks to kill and destroy what God created to be perfect. That being the relationship between man and woman and the family they were told to create, and "fill the earth" with.
The proponents of porn would tell us that it enhances sex in your marriage. That's a lie. It cheapens it. It presents it as violent, demeaning and nothing more than lust filled activity that is void of intimacy and true love.
That is NOT what God created sex to be.
Porn makes sex all about self-gratification at the expense of the other.
Porn makes sex as disposable as the napkin you use in a fast food restaurant.
The Holy Truth
Have you thought of sex with your wife, as holy?
Pastor Matt Chandler, in his study The Mingling of Souls, puts it this way.
Sex is holy—it is meant to remind us of the God who gave it to us, who takes joy in union with his people. We don’t need to overspiritualize sex to see it this way; we just need to approach it the way the Bible ordained and be grateful for it. Seeing sex as holy will also help us love our spouses more greatly. Gary Thomas wrote:
“Sex is about the physical touch, to be sure, but it is about far more than physical touch. It is about what is going on inside us. Developing a fulfilling sex life means I concern myself more with bringing generosity and service to bed than with bringing washboard abdomens. It means I see my wife as a holy temple of God, not just as a tantalizing human body. It even means that sex becomes a form of physical prayer—a picture of heavenly intimacy that rivals the shekinah glory of old.”
The day I finally understood this principle quite literally changed my life. It changed how I viewed my wife sexually, spiritually and intimately. As odd as this may sound, we don't just connect physically, but at a soul level during our most physically intimate times.
This realization changed our marriage in a powerful way.
I cannot describe the depth of the connection in mere words. And that is because it's divine and who am I to attempt to explain God at that depth?
Restoration is a Journey
This piece of the article could really be a post all it's own. I may do just do that in the near future.
The battle to restore the divine intimacy in your marriage, or like me, find it in the first place, will be a tough fight.
Worth it? In spades and then some!
Here are some steps you can take to begin the process.
You cannot achieve this kind of intimacy with your spouse if you are still actively using pornography. It's skewing your thinking and separating from God.
If your watching pornography - Stop and get some accountability. If you don't know what to do, or who to turn to, contact me, or checkout our "Resources" page for help!