The Marriage Reflection

By Dan Wobschall

When you hold your marriage up to a mirror what do you see? What should you see? 

The image I pray to see is that of the image of Christ and his relationship to the church. He set the example for us to follow. Unselfish sacrificial love and devotion is the height of the bar.

The book of Ephesians in chapter 5 puts it in God's words. Some of the words your about to read have fueled our culture to become quite upset. Sometimes the truth is hard to take, but it's still the truth.

Here we go. Eph 5: 22-24  "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

What proceeds verse 22 in 21 is this;  "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Ok, husbands pay attention. God has a command for us. Eph 5:25-27 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."

Cultural Conflict

We face a culture that calls this thinking outdated, sexist, repressive and archaic to name a few. What they can't understand is how well it works, when applied as God intends. This is not permission for men to be dictactors, nor does it make women and wives dormats. Far from it.

My wife and I do our best to live out the Ephesians 5 commands. She is most certainly in my eyes a Proverbs 31 wife. No doubt. In the years prior to 2004 I certainly did not honor her as commanded to. Yet, during the midst of my undgodliness, she was faithful to His commands.

Now, I get it. I love to brag on my wife. She is the most amazing woman I know. Incredible mother, wife, daughter and more. Highly responsible in family and her work. Self sacrificial is her middle name and most importantly she loves Jesus Christ with everything she is.


Here's a few practical things you can employ to honor and uplift your wife.

  • Pray for her daily. Ask God to bless her, watch over her and speak life into her.
  • Verbally affirm your love and appreciation for her every day.
  • Pray with her as regularly as your schedules permit. If that's daily, then do your best to hit that mark.
  • Praise your wife in front of others, whether she is with you or not.
  • NEVER speak poorly of her to your children or others.
  • Date your wife regularly. Just because your married doesn't mean you should stop courting your bride.
  • Defend and protect her physically, emotionally and spiritually.

This is not an exhaustive list for certain. But if you engage these practices and do it from your heart, your marriage will grow in depth of love and respect in ways you may have only dreamed of.

Sacrficial love is, well, sacrificial. It's means letting go of our personal selfish desires to reflect Christ to our wives. Jesus commands us to this. If you read the verse, it's not a suggestion, it's a command.

What are some ways you've demonstrated this type of love for you wife? We can all use more insight and wisdom I'm sure.

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