Community Support

How to get my self esteem back?

I've known for many years about the internet porn. I have confronted and fought and gotten mad many times, especailly when I check the internet history. As we had children, I forgot about it and had more important things to worry about. This time is different. He had been paying for it, interacting messages with femles in exhange for naked breast pictures/videos of them. Over $500 in one month. I am furious, and hurt. I just had a baby 2 months ago..my hormones are wild. I am 132 lbs now, I've been vigoursly trying to get back into shape. I feel so inadqaute and unworthy. I am very sad, I feel vengence, wanting to get back at him. I want him to feel like i do. He is seeking help, he admitted that he has a problem. Which is the first step i guess. I can't even look at my self in the mirror somedays. I don't want him to tell me i am beautiful, I dn't believe him. I DONT TRUST HIM ANYMORE>

Living with a Sex/Porn addicted Spouse

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your path. Iam clinging to this promise .. right now I can not see the path I am to take because of the pain I feel. I have lived with a sex addicted spouse for the past 7 years, in the beginning I would excuse his behavior and ignore it, thinking it was just this once. But the truth is, it has evolved into much bigger issue .. He doesnt believe he has done anything wrong as he has not touched another woman, and yet in my heart I feel the same betrayal as if he has. Am I wrong to feel that way? Is it excuseable behavior because a man is stimulated by sight?

I dont know how to fix this, and I dont know that he wants to stop doing this. He claims he does but then he slips right back into it.

I do not know what to do ? How can I help him or save my marriage when it hurts me so badly?

Please help .. even if its just prayers ..
Thank you
~Linda

kc

My husband is addicted to porn and now he is chatting on websites. He recently has been talking on the phone with a women who he said is like him. He doesn't understand that I am not able to get close with him because of what I witness with the pornography and the videos I have seen of him showing his private parts to women. I love my husband but I am tired of always being blamed for the reason he uses porn. He said he would stop if i paid attention to him. But as soon as I drop the ball back to porn he goes. We have been married ten years and for ten years I have been dealing with this.

need answers

I need to know am i addicted?

my wife struggles with intemacy and sex. i always get turned down and i know sex is not the bases of our relationship. but to satisfy my erges I turned to porn. but understand i am starting a new me and these are why i need answers. me and my wife seperated because i don't "Listen to her feelings" and i felt no intemacy from her. i am 32 yrs old and my hormorst are in OVER DRIVE! i want my wife all the time mentally and phycally. but i get rejected ALL the time. she will finally give up and give me sex when i beg for it or she get's a few drinks in her but it's not intamate. I want that now here is my question. I turned to watching porn because i knew my need was more than my wife can handle and i masterbate about 1 time a day. just because i don't want to hear " i am not in the mood" or " not right now". it makes me feel like i am not the one she wants and i have recently learned that she probably doesn't. would i have an issue if she was doing that I don't know. but to be it was a releaf for both of us because she didn't have to tell me no and feel bad and i didn't have to ask anymore.
I turned to god very recently and i don't know if i do masterbate weather it is a sin if i think of my wife and want her. I stopped the porn after i watched the movie fireproof and so much hit me. i do know how she feels now and i don't want to cause that. it is hard everyday to wake up and not want her. now am i addicted? do i seek counceling? or is this correct thing to do is stop the porn but masterbation is ok? I am scared that if i keep going down this path of rejection i will seek the intamacy sex elsewere. Please give advice.

Sincerely,
Robert

P.S. were are already in marrage counceling.

How to introduce the personal tool kit to a person

My husband and I are going through a trying time in our marriage. I have considered leaving but at the same time I am just not ready to give up on him. I have confronted him about his activities on the computer and the activities at night while everyone is asleep. I have seen with my own eyes the sites he has been on, profiles that have been made and I caught him in the act many of nights when he thought i was sleeping and when asked what he was doing all he could say is nothing,you dont know what you saw,i never heard of it, i dont know who it could be wasn't me and many more. He has finally admitted to all of the above mentioned when I asked him one night about an email account i find on my computer and he tried to deny it until i told him that this email account and his primary email account were linked together and i found and was able to long onto one of his profiles that had all of his credentials and what he was looking for. At first he didn't want to believe me and tried to give me the same excuse until i told him i would log on to the profile and email account and let him see for himself and he didn't want me to. He told me he would seek counseling through his job but only a little effort has been made and the pamphlet still layes on my kitchen table where he can see it and it has been there since he brought it home and he said he could quit cold turkey and he has strong will power to stay away. I have started my personal counselling with my minister to help me with the healing process of my hurt and betrayal and the forgiveness that i need to allow in my heart so i can be ready to be there for him when he chooses to believe he has an addiction and that he needs some guidance through this. So now there is my story and here is my question, I have purchased the personal tool kit ater watching the promo video and i found it for me very very helpful. If my husband feels there is nothing wrong, everything will blow over without any help of any kind and i just need to get over it. What will be the best way to introduce this personal tool kit to him and how will i ask him to do it with me? I dont know how to go about any of it any suggestions would be appreciated and helpful.

Shocking Discovery

I have just discovered that my husband of 17 years has an addiction to porn. I am devastated. The pain is sooo deep it is hard to live each day. Is there validity to my pain? He thinks it is not the same as an extramarital affair. I feel that he might as well be doing that because he has crossed the marriage boundaries. It feels very much that he has been unfaithful. Can someone comment please? This is so fresh, just a couple of days, and I am having trouble sleeping and eating. Every hour of the day is a battle.

WP