I can honestly say I've NEVER been in a church service that directly dealt with pornography addiction or sexual addiction. The nearest reference to it are the slides before each service reading, "Struggling with addiction? Celebrate meets Wednesday nights." It's like they're telling you up front... "If you're struggling, we have a place for you, but this aint it." Am I glad there's a place? Sure.
I'm not trying to say all churches are like this. It's just been my experience that it seems like there's a mindset of, "There's a place to talk about addictions, but church isn't it."
How about you? Has your church talked about porn addiction?
My husband admitted to me that he was addicted to porn almost 4yrs ago and he is just now finally seeking help. I've spent the last 4 yrs trying to do everything I can to make life easier for him so he wont look at the stuff. Im frustrated and weary. I've blamed myself. The only thing that has kept me from walking out the door would be my relationship with Jesus and my 4 children. I'm hurt and I feel guilty. Actually my husband has accused me many times of not forgiving him but its not true. I have asked Jesus time and time again to take the pain away so I can fully be there for my husband. I've tried to push my pain aside for his but all I have felt in return is that Jesus cares more about my husbands pain than mine. I know its not true and I have been seeking counseling and Im going to continue bc I really want to move on with my life and not let this addiction consume me everyday of my life. Does anyone else know how that feels?
It seems like everyone I talk to is willing to acknowledge that pornography is a problem in our society, especially in the church. Strangely enough, few of those same people are willing to admit that pornography is their problem.
Whether you are currently struggle, or have a historical battle with the addictive nature of pornography, it's time to be transparent and honest about this 800 lbs gorilla that in the room with you.
If you are concerned that a spouse is going to find out, then "man up" and talk to your spouse about it. Nothing like a little transparency and humble confession. Sure, your spouse may be really mad, disappointed, hurt, etc. What did you think she will do when you admit to looking at silicon-laded, airbrushed pics on the web? Come clean. Don't make excuses. Don't blame her. There are gonna be some consequences. But freedom for you, for your marriage, for your family, for ministry...is worth it.
Still afraid? Talk about it, right here.
I need to know am i addicted?
my wife struggles with intemacy and sex. i always get turned down and i know sex is not the bases of our relationship. but to satisfy my erges I turned to porn. but understand i am starting a new me and these are why i need answers. me and my wife seperated because i don't "Listen to her feelings" and i felt no intemacy from her. i am 32 yrs old and my hormorst are in OVER DRIVE! i want my wife all the time mentally and phycally. but i get rejected ALL the time. she will finally give up and give me sex when i beg for it or she get's a few drinks in her but it's not intamate. I want that now here is my question. I turned to watching porn because i knew my need was more than my wife can handle and i masterbate about 1 time a day. just because i don't want to hear " i am not in the mood" or " not right now". it makes me feel like i am not the one she wants and i have recently learned that she probably doesn't. would i have an issue if she was doing that I don't know. but to be it was a releaf for both of us because she didn't have to tell me no and feel bad and i didn't have to ask anymore.
I turned to god very recently and i don't know if i do masterbate weather it is a sin if i think of my wife and want her. I stopped the porn after i watched the movie fireproof and so much hit me. i do know how she feels now and i don't want to cause that. it is hard everyday to wake up and not want her. now am i addicted? do i seek counceling? or is this correct thing to do is stop the porn but masterbation is ok? I am scared that if i keep going down this path of rejection i will seek the intamacy sex elsewere. Please give advice.
P.S. were are already in marrage counceling.
I am a mother of sons they are struggling with staying free of porn. Not sure the addiction level...but there is some addiction.
I have been battling this alone on behalf of my sons on and off for some years. Both were introduced while young outside the home.
I am not sure what I can do to help them. They both seem to desire to be free of it but don't know how. At least one struggles with believing that he can become truly free.
Their father is emotionally disengaged from this. He refuses to be involved. It has been grievous to me because they need men to help them. I asked men at our church to help but none would respond...not even pastors. No one will talk and this stuff is taking down our fine young men (as well as older men/women/children).
I don't know what to do to help them...your website is great but I need to have information that is put in step by step form if possible because it seems quite overwhelming. Do you have any information for mothers (with absent fathers) who want to help their sons? or is there anyone personally to contact for a plan of action?
~a praying/battling/grieving/abandoned mom