Been suicidal for a long time. Still can't find a good accountability partner and you'd think with living in Cali that people would be more open but they r really just more judgemental. Does it really matter whether or not I live a long life or not? I doubt it. Who wants to live a life with a past haunting him every day? 2 Scrips. come to mind:"The wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. and 2)"I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly."
My husband admitted to me that he was addicted to porn almost 4yrs ago and he is just now finally seeking help. I've spent the last 4 yrs trying to do everything I can to make life easier for him so he wont look at the stuff. Im frustrated and weary. I've blamed myself. The only thing that has kept me from walking out the door would be my relationship with Jesus and my 4 children. I'm hurt and I feel guilty. Actually my husband has accused me many times of not forgiving him but its not true. I have asked Jesus time and time again to take the pain away so I can fully be there for my husband. I've tried to push my pain aside for his but all I have felt in return is that Jesus cares more about my husbands pain than mine. I know its not true and I have been seeking counseling and Im going to continue bc I really want to move on with my life and not let this addiction consume me everyday of my life. Does anyone else know how that feels?
Hello my name is Pat, I have been through ups and down in porn, sexual addictions, and even to a point of death if you know what I mean. But for the last two years I have come to learn about my condition. I thought I knew Christ at the age of 23 but struggled with my demons for till now. For 5 years I remember about a Fathers Love. Now that I'm 31 I've started to learned that I've been fighting against my Dad "God". Also I've come to a place that He loves me. Open your ears God spoke through His word to me. When I saw this website I said " this has to be the Lord I'm not alone". I've open my eyes and seen the affects of being molested, masterbation, and sex has almost killed me. I said to myself, I don't know what it feels to have a real father, so maybe not understandiing God has been a struggled. Please pray for me I have done some really bad stuff. One thing I do promise is this, I will never give up. I am just one voice typing and now I know I'm not alone.