I need to know am i addicted?
my wife struggles with intemacy and sex. i always get turned down and i know sex is not the bases of our relationship. but to satisfy my erges I turned to porn. but understand i am starting a new me and these are why i need answers. me and my wife seperated because i don't "Listen to her feelings" and i felt no intemacy from her. i am 32 yrs old and my hormorst are in OVER DRIVE! i want my wife all the time mentally and phycally. but i get rejected ALL the time. she will finally give up and give me sex when i beg for it or she get's a few drinks in her but it's not intamate. I want that now here is my question. I turned to watching porn because i knew my need was more than my wife can handle and i masterbate about 1 time a day. just because i don't want to hear " i am not in the mood" or " not right now". it makes me feel like i am not the one she wants and i have recently learned that she probably doesn't. would i have an issue if she was doing that I don't know. but to be it was a releaf for both of us because she didn't have to tell me no and feel bad and i didn't have to ask anymore.
I turned to god very recently and i don't know if i do masterbate weather it is a sin if i think of my wife and want her. I stopped the porn after i watched the movie fireproof and so much hit me. i do know how she feels now and i don't want to cause that. it is hard everyday to wake up and not want her. now am i addicted? do i seek counceling? or is this correct thing to do is stop the porn but masterbation is ok? I am scared that if i keep going down this path of rejection i will seek the intamacy sex elsewere. Please give advice.
P.S. were are already in marrage counceling.