Stories

Seeking Prayer

I have sinned A LOT this year against God by watching porn and masturbating. Please pray for my forgiveness. I want to have a clean conscience again :(

Saved wrote:

I grew up attending church with my family. I went to sunday school and I would be in Christmas play each year, but when I reached Grade 7 I found myself falling away from God and his views. They'd started teaching sex ed in class and I was curious. Near the end of the school year a lot of the guys in my class had started talking about pornography and other sexually immoral things. (By the way, I'm a girl) That summer I started searching about sex and pornography on the internet. The thing is I didn't know it was wrong, but really if it's something you're not willing to share with your family then how could it be right? I struggled for the next few months with that idea. By December I was trying to commit to going to church, but our pastor had moved to an other church and I wasn't enjoying going anymore. I went to sunday school and met the new Youth Group leader. I started going to youth group to try and quit my problem but it wasn't that simple. My little brother's friend invited us later that year to their church for an Easter play. It was amazing! Everyone at that church was so passionate about Christ and I even new some of the other people who attended that church. From that point on I started going to that church with my family. I got up the courage to tell my mother about what I'd been struggling with, we cried and she held me. It got a little easier, but I was still sneaking into my bedroom every now and then. I felt awful after everytime. I was lucky enough to have made SO many more friends at my new church than the one I had gone to before. I met one boy - who is now like my big brother - who is so passionate about christ and who's really changed my life. I'm good friend's with the pastor's son, the only other person apart from my mother whom I've told this complete story to. Now I'm sharing it with any of you who really need to hear this. I am free of pornography now, though sometimes I do still have trouble with lust. I know that God is always going to be there for me when I fall and that he truly loves me. Christ died so that I could live and tell others of his love. Read the Bible; stay occupied - don't let yourself have a minute to ponder about sneaking away to look at a magazine or masturbate; listen to inspirational music. I hope my testimonies help someone out there.

 

Izzy wrote:

I'm now 14. At a young age, I didn't get along well with other children for ten whole years. I was alone and to fill this, I suppose I turned to pornography. I eventually got more friends, but the habit stuck. As I grew up, I learned more about my religion and how the arranged marriage focuses on living for the sake of the spouses happiness and for solely them. At this point I didn't have friends yet, so seeing how I could at least make someone else's life better gave me hope. But with masturbation, I know one day it'll hurt my future spouse. I cry when I think about this. I now have friends and a strong faith in god. I am so close to breaking these chains that hold me down. Wish me luck

 

Anonymous wrote:

I AM 33 YEARS OLD AND AM CURRENTLY SUFFERING FROM MASTURBATION ISSUES. THIS PROBLEM I HAVE IS TEARING MY FAMILY APART, I HAVE BEEN ADDICTED TO SEX AND PORN SENSE I WAS 10 YEARS OLD. I DID NOT TELL ANY ONE UNTIL RECENTLY THAT MY STEP BROTHER SODOMIZED ME AS A CHILD, MAKING ME PLAY WITH HIS PENIS UNTIL HE GOT OFF, I WAS ONLY 7 AT THAT TIME. I DON'T KNOW IS THAT HAS SOME THING TO DO WITH THIS PROBLEM I HAVE BUT I JUST WANT IT TO STOP. RECENTLY 3 WEEKS AGO I DID FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, I NEW I DID SHE NEW I DID BUT I STILL LIED ANGERLY ABOUT IT. THIS HURT HER VERY DEEPLY MUCH DEEPER THAN BEFORE. SHE TOLD ME TODAY HOW IT MADE HER FEEL AND THAT SHE KNEW EVERY TIME AND YOU STILL LIED THEN SHE SAID I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. THIS MADE ME WANT TO DIE OR HURT MY SELF FOR THE PAIN I HAVE CAUSED MY FAMILY. SO PLEASE IF ANY ONE CAN HELP ME PLEASE.HELP

 

Krystine wrote:

Read it and comment me back to help me please. I'm a christian. I'm a girl, I'm 19 and just found this site. I really found help through your testimonies, and I wanted to share with you my experience. I'm not even sure when everything started, It was a long time ago, since I have been using internet ever since I was 10. I never really had any kind of selfsteem or whatever, and never told anyone the dimension of my sins. Just like the other girl said, everyone thinks Im the goody-two-shoes, and I'm not even close. Tho my heart wants more of God, I still struggle every now and then with pornography and masturbation. I think I have been raised in a very conservative family and culture, which I hate cause my mom and dad never really talked to me about sex, which lead me to find it for myself. Sadly I started when I was 14 and hang out with my neighbors at night and found 3 attractive guys and started talked with them that night. So every couple went on their own alone place and started talking and stuff. so the guy I was talking to asked me if I my kisses were good. I was feeling incredible since he "seemed" to be worried about everything I was telling him, and so he leaned and kissed me. That was my first kiss and I was terryfied, scared and guilty, my parents would killed me if they knew. and so we sat down and he started to kiss me again and suddenly he started to touch me in an inappropriate way. I felt disgusting and left him alone. Since that time I felt like that was the only way to get's people attention, specially guys, all of my girl friends seem to be so popular and I felt terrible cause apparently i wasnt worthy to have a boyfriend, but oh my, I was only 14 or 15, and I didn't even need it. All those stories seemed to be so real and I was desperatly looking for love since my parents never really aproached me to tell me how much they loved me and hug me and make me feel beautiful. I also had 2 boyfriends which whom I didnt had sex but did some bad things, and I regret with utmust sincere. Now I'm 19 am still struggling with porn and masturbation. I feel empty, disgusting, not worthy of God's love, and I feel scared my younger sister will do the same thing. I absolutely love her, but saddly I never tell her. instead I yell at her and constantly bother her, I really dont want her to be like me, and I dont even know how to make her feel beautiful cause no one ever did with me. sometimes i wonder if I should talk with her and tell her all that happened to me so I can be healed and she can understand why I want to protect her so bad. I don't want to keep doing this, but I still come back. and everytime I fail i always end up feeling worst. I have pray for forgiveness, and I know God listens to me. What should I do, what can I do? I don't want to feel this wat anymore. I'm afraid I'll never find a nice christian guy to marry with :( and it really saddens me. and I'm scared this will affect my marriage, cause I dont think I will stop doing even If I get married. :( I'm still struggling with masturbation, is bad, cause doesnt fill your longing for God, and his true love. keep me in your prayers

 

Angela wrote:

Hi, Im the daughter of a pastor and I have been struggling with porn addiction, masturbation and having sex. I have never said this out loud or written it outloud but i struggle everyday with watching porn and masturbating. I want to put an end to the road that I am continuting on and ask that people pray for me and give me the strength and will power to free myself from this. I feel that the more i continue down this the further i am from God and closer to following the ways of this world. Once again i ask that you keep me in your prayers

 

Anonymous wrote:

Hi! I'm 23 years old, I'm from Brazil... Im here because I want to confess my sins... I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation... I'd like to ask you to pray for me and ask God to forgive and to cleanse me as it is written in 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us {our} sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.". Please, pray for me! God Bless you all!