Stories

Anonymous wrote:

I was 8 years old when porn was revealed to me at that time I completely didn't have interest in girls. So it really wasn't a big thing but when I was 12 years old a friend and I were on the Internet looking up funny videos when we stumbled upon a porno and ever sinc e I have been hooked, I'm currently 17 years old and still I've been watching it. Just recently I've came up with strategies about how to stop my problem by Putting up blockers on my Internet router to all porn related photos and nude content and with gods grace I'm getting better.

 

Tough Nights wrote:

My first experience with porn was around the age of 11. It wasn't really peer pressure or family issues, but I was molested years before, which could have triggered it. By the age of 14, I was fully addicted to porn. Any time I was alone, I was attached to my computer. By God's Grace, I was saved when I was 16 and my life dramatically changed. The fight got harder only because I was Mentally fighting porn. I would shut down the computer so I wouldn't look it up and I even set a password on the TV for adult programs. Things got better until I got a cellphone. Internet access dragged me back to porn and nearly ruined my life, but God pulled me out. Til this day I am fighting back my urges to watch porn, and God is by my side. You cant overcome this without God and don't try to. This is my testimony. Freedom Begins Here.

 

TS wrote:

I struggle with pornography. I never thought I would have something in my life that I hated so much. I am letting my family down and my God. However, I am trying to overcome this addiction and I do believe that I can and we all can achieve freedom from this addiction with the help of God. Many of you may also feel that pull and lure towards sexual sin as through it is a spiritual chain that reels you in. At times I question, How can I beat that strong lure? But I do believe that each temptation or trial that we face that is beaten is a victory. We need to start celebrating our victories and stop becoming so disheartened of our failures. Of course it is not ok to fail but do not let it linger over your soul until you beat your self into the ground. Stand up dust your self off and start counting your victories. We can do this. Remember what Jesus said, Do not worry about tomorrow because today has enough worries of its own. Therefore we must strive to beat porn each day. Don't worry about what will happen tomorrow. Win today :D We can do this.

 

Anonymous wrote:

Wow. My story? Hmm, it's a long one to sum up in 2000 words, but I'll try. My battle with porn and masturbation began when I was ten years old. I was sexually abused which began a long path downward. I had no idea how to express myself and the cravings for love drove me to seek romance novels, then chat rooms, then porn and masturbation. While a lot of the world around me was telling me that it was okay and natural, shame and condemnation became my life. Everything was a secret and it remained one until I was 16. I believed that while God was loving, I was such a bad person that His love didn?t and couldn?t reach me. My addictions drove me to depression and suicide. If God couldn?t save me, who could? With impeccable timing, God spoke to me a week before my 17th birthday and showed me Jesus. He took my suicidal mentality away and gave me hope for a rich life without slavery to addiction. Freedom in Him. I began to get rid of everything I could that drove me closer to porn, masturbation, and the world?s view of sex. That meant getting rid of almost every book I had, deleting hundreds of songs from my Ipod, and avoiding TV like the plague. It meant asking Jesus what sex really was because my sexuality was so distorted and confusing. It meant asking Him for guidance in how to get help. It meant talking about my secrets for the first time in my life. I had told my friends a little before but this meant stepping out of my safety zone and speaking about my fears and feelings and not minimizing my addictions. It meant many nights of tears and repentance and turning off the computer when I was alone. It meant not going to certain movies with my friends and spending hours in my room because the living room contained the computer and the TV which was always on (Do you know how frustrating it is when you have to do homework on the computer, but you don?t want to hear Two and a Half Men on the TV and you?re scared to wait until 9 when it?s just you and the internet) I have messed up, screwed up, fallen, sinned, back slided, whatever you want to call it. I have weeped at my failures and have hid my face from Christ. But he always gives me hope. Hope that I am free in Him. Sometimes it takes turning off the TV (I watch it occasionally now) and sob to Jesus about all my temptations. It takes studying His Word so when temptation comes I remember that He never lets me be tempted beyond what I can bear and He gives us a way out (1 Cor 10:13). I remember that He?s been tempted in every way and he sympathizes with me (Hebrews 4:15). It gives me strength to know that Christ has been tempted in the same ways and didn?t give in because He lives in me. If He can overcome it, He can help me overcome it too. And every time I ?slip up?, He?s still there ready to take me back. Every time. He loves us with a love that drove Him to the cross. He loves even though we nailed Him there with our sin. He loves me even though my porn addiction cost His blood. And I have freedom. But only in Him. You can have it too.

 

 

Mervin wrote:

I wanted to share my story on how I was addicted to pornography and masturbation which had gone out of hand. I have been addicted to pornography since I was at the age of 12 years old. At the begining, it was just out of curiosity. My friend Gary, brought a penthouse magazine to school one day after we finished our school examination. Out of curiousity, I read the magazine and was aroused sexually with the naked women. I began to fantasized having sex and masturbate. Then later, I saw the opportunity to buy those adult magazines from a newspaper stall near my school. So, I saved up the pocket money given by parents to buy those magazines with pictures of naked women and erotic stories. It became almost an weekly affair. It was a dark secret of mine which my parents were unaware of. They thought that I was an "a perfect son" who did well academically. On another occasion, I visited a school classmate and he also showed me sex pictures and naked women on his computer. I became aroused and masturbated. My addiction became escalated to the extend that I took risks to buy pornographic VCDs from shops, watching over internet and masturbated. I became depressed and lost interests in normal socialising with my friends or engaging in any healthy activities. Even when I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour in 2002 and married in 2003, I was still addicted that let to my destructive behaviour of series of affairs. However, I want to thank God for his faithfulness and forgiveness that I began to feel His restoration, delivferance and healing in August this year which I had decided to serve Him with my wife. I have since confessed my sins to my wife and both of us are seeking Jesus to help me to be totally free. Addiction to pornography and masturbation will indeed stripped you all your self esteem, ruined your marriage and career. It is like a cancerous cell that eats up your soul. It is a very powerful weapons of the Devil to lodge spiritual warfare against us, especially Christians. Only the blood of Jesus, His love and Forgiveness can set us free. Praise the Lord for His eternal love and mercy.

 

Steve wrote:

For nearly 35 years, I was trapped in the grip of porn. I'm not here to talk about what the devil did in my life, I'm here to not only talk about, but to give all the glory to God for what He has done my life. God?s love for us is deeper than any sin we could ever commit. God may like not like what we do, but the things we do will never change God?s unending love for us. I am living proof of that. God?s grace came into my life like a flood one day and my chains were and still are gone. I was born in 1966 in Haverhill, Massachusetts. Hey if I can confess all my sexual sins to you, I can also be brave enough to confess that I'm from Massachusetts. My parents both worked in factory jobs. My dad was a heavy drinker, which took a huge toll on my family. My mother, and my one older brother felt like we were living with a time bomb. The littlest things would set my father?s temper off. Because of the dysfunction in my home, my mother was a nervous wreck which meant that my brother and I didn't receive the love and nurturing that a lot of kids get. As a result, I didn't start talking till I was 4. Growing up with a severe speech problem, and being dangerously underweight from the stress of being an abused child by my father made me an easy target for the kids at school and in my neighborhood to pick on me constantly. This lack of love, care and feeling unaccepted set the stage for a very long battle in my life. When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I discovered porn. My dad work at a paper recycling plant, so he'd bring home x-rated magazines that he found in the bales of paper to be recycled. My brother and I were spending a rainy day playing hide and seek. I was determined that this was the day that I would finally elude my brother?s finding me, so I hid in the forbidden zone, my parents bedroom. As I hid under the bed, I saw a stack of magazines. I opened one and boy did I get a surprise. At first I was a bit repulsed at what I saw, but then in the days and months that followed, I began going back to look at those x-rated images more and more. By the time I was 11, I had stolen a few magazines from my father?s stash and had discovered masturbation. As I got into my teen years, I had quite a collection of porn hidden away in my room and was masturbating on a daily basis. When I was 14, I started writing out my sexual fantasies about girls from school. I bought into a lie, feeling like porn and sexual fantasies gave me the love and acceptance I craved. In my little fantasy world, I could never be denied or rejected. In high school, God began to bring friends into my life that were Christians. Whenever they would share the Gospel of Christ with me, I was very eager to hear it. I remember going home and starting to read my mother?s Bible.Things were great, the severe depression that I had grown with was gone, my world looked a little brighter. I had thrown all my porn out and that was that. Yet it wasn't soon before the enemy was all over me again. It all began in 1987 when I began dating a woman, who it turned out was cheating on her husband. We had intercourse many times, and she introduced me to drinking and porn movies. We eventually broke up, but my appetite for porn was back like never before. For the next several years, the enemy beat me down so bad. In Public, I was Steve the super Christian, singing in the church choir, serving as a deacon, and even teaching a Sunday School class for kids. But behind closed doors I was the total opposite. Every night I'd go back to my private little world of sexual sins. Now let?s jump ahead to 1999, the year I married a Christian woman from my church. At first things were great. I had once again gotten rid of all my porn, and stopped masturbating. But I quickly found out that the woman I'd fallen for at church was not the same woman I'd married. I soon found out that I had married a very controlling, manipulative, verbally abusive person. It didn?t matter who we were with, she?d belittle me in front of anyone, including my two step-children. This brought back many feelings that I had growing up, feelings of being unloved, unaccepted and not good enough. And as a result, the old habits of dealing with this pain came back. At first it started with masturbating while viewing models in the Sunday Sales flyers, then the late night free movie channels for anything with a sex scene in it. Then came the internet porn. With the so called pleasures from that means of escape came the guilt and shame. I felt like such a hypocrite. I claimed to be a Christian, on a weekly basis stood in the church choir and did an occasional solo song during the offering. There I was proclaiming God?s love, God can help you overcome, yet I was being overcome by sexual sins. In October of 2006, God began to move mightily in my life. I GOT CAUGHT! Our computer was acting up on us big time. The computer tech who looked it found the encrypted history file and discovered page after page after page of porn sites I?d visited, over 500 in a three month period alone. That night after confessing everything to my wife, I called the men?s ministry leader at my church and confessed everything to him. It was that night that I learned about a group at the church called FMO. He explained to me that FMO (For Men Only) was a tailor made Bible Study/Accountability group designed for men with sexual addictions. A week later I joined the group and began to truly honor God for the first time with my body, mind and soul. It was at this same time that the enemy came in like a flood. I entered the darkest time of my life. In a two month period, I survived a car fire, being physically attacked by a family member, the break up of my marriage, partly due to years of stress, my sins, and the affair that my wife was having. Three days after I moved out, my father was found dead in his apartment after he had a massive heart attack. Then came the loss of my job, followed by severe depression. At first I used all this as excuse to fall back into sin big time. But the more that I put into my time spent at the FMO group, the greater my resolve became to overcome, not simply go without it for a while. January 28th 0f 2007 was the turning point for me. The night before I had lost my job. That night I went out and bought a case of beer, two bottles of wine and some x-rated movies. The next morning I woke up at rock bottom. I cleaned myself up and began the all familiar routine of throwing away the empties and the porn, but this time was different. This time I with everything I threw out, I said ?No More?. My resolve grew stronger each time I said it. January 28, 2007 was the date that God gave me strength like never before. There were many things that God gave me to overcome the sexual sins in my life, the drive and the desire to seek God like never before. For the first time in my life I put a scripture verse to use. Matthew 6:33 says to ?seek first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and ALL these things will be given to you as well.? I sought God like never before through His Word, through prayer, through FMO, and the guys in the group. God has given us so many awesome tools to help us overcome the sin in our lives, such your ministry and others like Today I stand before all of you a new man in Christ, free and forgiven. Free of the guilt and the shame, free from sexual sins. Today I have been happily married for just under three years to a very Godly woman. God has made my life new. But it wasn?t until I surrendered all in my life to Him, including my sexual desires, when things began to change. If you?re here today and you?ve been struggling and feel trapped by sexual sins, do whatever it takes to surrender all to God, give Him your life, your soul, your desires. Seek Him first in all things, and all the things that you desire to live a pure and Holy life, please to God will be added to you. God uses people who?ve been there, and that?s why FMO has been used by God to impact the lives of thousands of men across the country. Thank you for your time and may God bless you all in his Grace. So as I praise the Lord, I just want to say thank you for your ministry for reaching out to men to help them in their quest for purity. God Bless, Steve

 

Anonymous wrote:

My story is kinda sad except for the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I've managed to escape but both of my parents, (divorced), were addicted and illicit sex has ruined two marriages for me. I'm on a mission!

1 2 3 Next »