Stories

Freedom in Christ! wrote:

Be encouraged, friends! There truly is hope in Jesus Christ, and I am proof that He can heal you from your addiction. I'm a strong Christian woman who struggled with porn addiction beginning at about 13 yrs old (now I'm 33). I felt trapped by it, disgusted, ashamed. No one would've expected such a dirty thing from me, as I was the "good girl." It was a roller coaster I was on for many years. I would get away from it for a while then fall back into it again and again. I finally decided about 5 yrs ago to confide in a pastor friend. She said I was forgiven, and she loaned me a copy of the "Freedom Begins Here" book & dvd. Listening to the stories of others trapped by porn really opened my eyes to see that I was dealing with a serious and harmful addiction. That's when true healing began. I also confessed to a few other close friends who are strong Christians that I knew would help encourage & pray for me on this road. I thank God for His love, His grace, and His healing. Like other addictions, I don't know that the temptation to relapse ever truly disappears. I still struggle with the temptation on a daily basis. But now I can see clearly and I know that it's Satan trying to pull me back into his lies. That's not where I will find joy. I praise God for this clarity which helps me to make the right choice! Please, friends, don't give up this fight. It's the battlefield of the mind, and you can have victory with Christ. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 1:6 I love you all, and I grieve with you because I know what a struggle this is to fight against. Don't give up. Give it to God. He is able to heal you!

Emma wrote:

I struggled for about 2 years with porn and masturbation, more and more frequently and worse and worse content. I told myself if I read my Bible more, God would give me the power not to give in. It worked for a while. But then it didn't work. I stopped feeling guilty anymore. That was worse because I wondered why I didn't even feel guilt. But then God kept showing me passages about obedience to receive his inheritance for me. At this time in life, I'm getting ready to leave school, and go into everything that God has for my life. In the end, I had a revelation of freedom I guess. Completely free. God is good.

 

Anonymous wrote:

Wow. My story? Hmm, it's a long one to sum up in 2000 words, but I'll try. My battle with porn and masturbation began when I was ten years old. I was sexually abused which began a long path downward. I had no idea how to express myself and the cravings for love drove me to seek romance novels, then chat rooms, then porn and masturbation. While a lot of the world around me was telling me that it was okay and natural, shame and condemnation became my life. Everything was a secret and it remained one until I was 16. I believed that while God was loving, I was such a bad person that His love didn?t and couldn?t reach me. My addictions drove me to depression and suicide. If God couldn?t save me, who could? With impeccable timing, God spoke to me a week before my 17th birthday and showed me Jesus. He took my suicidal mentality away and gave me hope for a rich life without slavery to addiction. Freedom in Him. I began to get rid of everything I could that drove me closer to porn, masturbation, and the world?s view of sex. That meant getting rid of almost every book I had, deleting hundreds of songs from my Ipod, and avoiding TV like the plague. It meant asking Jesus what sex really was because my sexuality was so distorted and confusing. It meant asking Him for guidance in how to get help. It meant talking about my secrets for the first time in my life. I had told my friends a little before but this meant stepping out of my safety zone and speaking about my fears and feelings and not minimizing my addictions. It meant many nights of tears and repentance and turning off the computer when I was alone. It meant not going to certain movies with my friends and spending hours in my room because the living room contained the computer and the TV which was always on (Do you know how frustrating it is when you have to do homework on the computer, but you don?t want to hear Two and a Half Men on the TV and you?re scared to wait until 9 when it?s just you and the internet) I have messed up, screwed up, fallen, sinned, back slided, whatever you want to call it. I have weeped at my failures and have hid my face from Christ. But he always gives me hope. Hope that I am free in Him. Sometimes it takes turning off the TV (I watch it occasionally now) and sob to Jesus about all my temptations. It takes studying His Word so when temptation comes I remember that He never lets me be tempted beyond what I can bear and He gives us a way out (1 Cor 10:13). I remember that He?s been tempted in every way and he sympathizes with me (Hebrews 4:15). It gives me strength to know that Christ has been tempted in the same ways and didn?t give in because He lives in me. If He can overcome it, He can help me overcome it too. And every time I ?slip up?, He?s still there ready to take me back. Every time. He loves us with a love that drove Him to the cross. He loves even though we nailed Him there with our sin. He loves me even though my porn addiction cost His blood. And I have freedom. But only in Him. You can have it too.

 

 

Newman's Wife wrote:

9 months and 5 days ago I posted my story. After 31 years of marriage, God began to reveal to me my husband's sex addiction. He had been an addict for 40 years. Our entire marriage had been nothing but a lie! My life was shattered.,,,,but, the story doesn't end there! We are going to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary on November 5th. That is the day we stood before God on a mountain top and said our vows to each other. The day that we became "one" in the sight of God!~ You see, we had never been as the Bible says, "and the two shall be as one" because there had ALWAYS been a third person in our marriage. Today, by the healing power of Christ, our marriage is whole. There is still a third person in our marriage but this time it's Christ!!!! I can't even begin to tell you what the Lord has done for us. He brought to life the scripture that says, "I came to heal the broken hearted and to set the captive free". We just recently moved to a new town and I am the happiest I have ever been. I have a new home, (we closed on it Sept 16, which was exactly 1 year to the day my life blew apart) in a new city, with a new man. Isn't God good! How did we do it???? I loved him to completion as Christ asked me to do. God was always quick to remind me that if I was to be a reflection of Him, I had to forgive my husband. And he was willing to turn his ENTIRE body, mind and soul over to the Lord. I am in the beginning stages of starting a support group for women that have been hurt by their husband's sexual sin. There are so few places for a woman to go when she's desperate to find hope. Our new church is on fire and ready to support me. My husband has such a heart to work in men's ministry's and to have one that really deals with the heart of men's issues, not just eat pancakes! I'm telling you all this to let you know that it can be done! A marriage can be healed and an addict can be set free! We are living proof!!!! Addict, remember, the only power Satan has over you is the hidden truth! And spouse, remember, but for the grace of God, the addict could be you! May God richly bless each and every one of you! Newman's Wife!~

 

Anonymous wrote:

Many years ago I began my addiction to pornography. I've grown up as a pastor's kid and loved every minute of it, but with that comes responsibility... one I've failed at for too long. I hid my sin from everyone. I thought I could overcome it by myself. Then one year my youth group went on a trip to a youth conference in Hamilton, Alabama. One of the teen speakers talked about addictions. He said that its not hard to give up addictions. Once you truely encounter God, you begin to not want those things anymore. The reality of it is, we like the sin. We make it harder upon ourselves than it has to be. God's will and plan for our lives is PERFECT! He only wants the best for us, therefore how can we doubt him? That message really shook me! I layed down my addiction at the alter and have never been the same. Now that's not to say that it wasn't hard. It wasn't an immediate freedom. I had to work hard at it, reading my Bible, praying and seeking God daily! But the fight is well worth it! Now I have a love for my Savior unlike ever before. One that pornography could never replace. No longer am I bound to the ways of the devil, for I am free in Christ!

 

 

Anonymous wrote:

My husbands porn addiction has taken it's toll on me, how I feel about my self is sad. I have gained so much weight and am totally discussed with myself that I don't want to wake up. There was a time that I was ok with me, I was serving the Lord with fire. The Holy Spirit shined from my eyes, at this time of my life there is nothing left. I am done, I want to love me again and have an intimate relationship with someone. Men who are addicted to porn, never have nor get that close oneness with a woman. I love Jesus, and I am moving on. Amen!

 

Anonymous wrote:

I'm 17... nearly 18. Right now I feel as if I am serving two masters and the Bible states that one servant cannot serve two masters. I've decided to join this website because I don't know where else to go and I'm scared to talk this to my parents or my psychologist. I can only state this to God and here. I'll start my story since I was a baby... when I was 7 or 8 years old my mother had this beautiful reproduction and pregnancy book. This is NOT when any addiction started but when the healthy view of sex (in an innocent way) was installed in me. There was also marriage pictures and concentration on marriage. It all started when I was 13... I was in a hotel in South Africa when I saw my first ever pornographic film. From there on I masturbated secretly until I was 15 in bathrooms on various occasions. The difference I think was that I seldom used toys or the 'proper' way of masturbation (I always masturbated with clothes on and made movements on my undies). Nevertheless like Jesus Christ has said if you look at a woman and lust after her it is as if you have already committed already with her in your heart. Another thing is that between 12 and 16 I was in depression. I had suicidal tendencies and a bad body image. At 16 I finally got a psychologist and told her about my suicidal tendencies and my body image but NOT about my pornographic addiction. I started to buy books, studying medicine, economics, history, literature and so forth. Also reading Christian books and buying Christian movies. My diet got better and my suicidal tendendies started to dwindle. Half because of the psychologist and the other half because of prayer. But this secret remains. And I'm almost 18. I feel as if I'm half reedemed and that's not good. God would rather I be hot or cold than lukewarm... I've left the false health wealth prosperity gospel so that's another spiritual healing. Right now I'm going or starting to go through mental, emotional, physical and spiritual healing. But of course I must give me all to Christ. I'm still a virgin. I have never kissed nor had sexual relations (oral, vaginal, etc) with anyone. I'm terrified of pornography. Of the flesh and of the world. I went through watching hentai, homosexuality (both male and female), anal, BDSM, etc. I'm disgusted at myself. But I know that even though God will deliver me I should act and have responsibility for myself. I'm here because I just fell once again. I've just watched pornography 1 to 3 hours ago. I defiled this temple which is suppose to be holy again. And this is after being on a diet or free of pornography for nearly 2 months )= I pray that the chains of sexual addiction are broken

 

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