I just googled this site hoping to find some encouragement. I've a mild persistent porn addiction and I'm determined to find a strategy that works. I know that it takes more than prayer and half measures. I agree with others I've seen posting who have said it takes professional help. It's not just physical, it's mental and emotional as well. Last time I was on a site like this I got lost in all the varying degrees of porn addiction that I wasn't sure I was "that" addicted. It didn't go well for me. But, I'm determined to find my answer and truely be free BEFORE I'm married or attatched ("mild" addiction or not). So far I have a plan and some strategy forming. I plan on keeping a recovery journal with accountability partners who will also have access to the journal as well as regular accountability. I plan also on not having my laptop in my posession (hopefully in even another city) for 6 months at least, if even I ever get it back (I don't care, I'm committed to getting the temptation out of sight forever). Aside from that I have some herbal strategies I discovered and I have gracious and praying support. For my journal I plan on not just detailing (at least once a week) whether I have or haven't fallen. I plan on making it an accountability partner's project from me while I go through this time. The partner will not only have access but will be keeping me accountable for finding encouraging things and whatnot. I not only want this to be an accountability tool but an encouraging tool for me and maybe others after me. I know this can be done. One thing I want to share with my brothers in this is a thought I had today while praying about all this. I remembered a verse that was about some guy in the wilderness out of the Israelites who just decided he wanted some girls. He didn't even hide it but openly brought them into his tent. One other dude didn't think that was so cool and run him through with a spear, through both the guy and the girl and on into the ground. Now that's passion for holiness.. right into the dirt! As I pondered that and feeling once again wholly unworthy cause I was at the cross...Again!.. I started speaking this aloud as I poured out my heart to God. "I deserve death, I deserve to be run through with a sp.." As the word "spear" was unfinnished on my lips I instantly remembered the spear they ran through Jesus. It still blesses me to think of that. Keep believing and keep going till this thing is kaput. Oh, and another thought for you... I was contemplating what this whole thing was like. My brain pulled an illustration of a river. Though I've always been a man of faith holding on to God through Jesus seems I always kept slipping in this area. It's like this battle was a loosing one like I was trying to swim upstream against an endless current. But then as I continued with that thinking I started speaking out, "Lord you're the rock I can climb up onto. You're the secure rope to the shore. You're the bridge pilon with a ladder to land." And, it occured to me during all these thoughts that the best way to fight this is to get out of the current. Why battle through the temptation? It's an endless current. This is why I have determined to have my laptop out of the way or blocked with a program. I'd really like to be rid of it all together, but I know at some point I'll have to work with a personal computer.. less I join the Hutterites. :P Anyway, I encourage you to form a plan and also to minimize all temptations. Be committed to give up things that may be very much rooted in your life. Be committed to letting them go and cutting them off. Not just for the period of recovery! But to cut them off with the full conviction of cutting them off for good, even in this day and age of communication/personal computing. Better to enter paradise maimed... seriously is a laptop so attatched to you that it's your hand? I think not. How dedicated you are will determine your progress and healing/freedom from this, so I've been told. Anyway.. bless up and press in to a fuller happier life, it's at the end of this. Peace!
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