From the Blog

Porn: The Intimacy Killer

There are few words that can bring men’s conversations to a grinding halt. Intimacy is one of them. Speak the word, intimate, in the setting of a man-to-man talk and hear the deafening silence.

If this conversation makes you a tad uncomfortable, that's probably a good thing. Intimacy and pornography are diametrically opposed to one another. The two are mutually exclusive. Like light and dark. They can’t occupy the same space. 

Ok, the point is this. Fact: Viewing of pornography kills the intimacy you have with your wife.  If you’re having intimate (sexual that is) outside of the bonds of marriage, you need to revisit God’s design for relationships. Marriage, then sex. 

Evidence
How do I know this to be fact? My personal experience, which I’ll address shortly, and this article from Resurgence is another solid piece of evidence.  http://theresurgence.com/2011/11/19/7-negative-effects-of-porn, Journalist http://www.amazon.com/Pamela-Paul/e/B001H9Q502/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1 Pamela Paul writes: “pornography gives men the false impression that sex and pleasure are entirely divorced from relationships.”  

The Resurgence article accurately states: “Sex becomes self serving. It becomes about your pleasure and not the self-giving, mutually reciprocating intimacy that it was designed for.”

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The Marriage Reflection

When you hold your marriage up to a mirror what do you see? What should you see? 

The image I pray to see is that of the image of Christ and his relationship to the church. He set the example for us to follow. Unselfish sacrificial love and devotion is the height of the bar.

The book of Ephesians in chapter 5 puts it in God's words. Some of the words your about to read have fueled our culture to become quite upset. Sometimes the truth is hard to take, but it's still the truth.

Here we go. Eph 5: 22-24  "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

What proceeds verse 22 in 21 is this;  "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Ok, husbands pay attention. God has a command for us. Eph 5:25-27 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."

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Let's Call It what It is...Sin

Nearly 12 million people in America today fight a sexual addiction, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Pornography is recognized as an addiction in the counseling and psychological community. It has been treated similarly by Alcoholics Anonymous since the late 1970’s.

Addictions are labeled as diseases and disorders by the medical community. I’m not writing this to dispute those labels, but to speak to what my experience and education by said experience has taught me about addiction. And in particular, my (past) addiction to pornography (sexual addiction).

Pornography in and of itself is sin. Therefore, a pornography addiction is sinful. The bible teaches us this in 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Galatians 5:19 “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;”

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Just for Today; Encouragement for my Hurting Sisters

As a NEW YEAR begins, many will take time to reflect on the past twelve months;  the joys, the growth, the changes, the challenges along with the tears, the regrets, the losses, the hurts and the pain.

Although a new year is dawning, many have hurts from yesterday that will carry over.

Some sisters are still on their arduous journey of healing while others may have just begun. Friend,  I don't know where this new year finds you, what hurts you woke up with today, what wounds are gaping open or what thoughts torment you. However, I do know that in the darkness of betrayal, Jesus illuminates that darkness with the light of His enduring love and there He embraces His beloved, broken daughter.  Friend, this is where your healing begins!

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What If I Can't Trust My Husband?

When you got married your expectations were high, you were so in love. You had found someone you could finally give your heart to.  Unfortunately, soon after the honeymoon,  you found out that just because he was your husband and vowed to love you "till death do you part", he was human, imperfect and capable of causing you much pain. Two imperfect people coming together did not equal perfection like the childhood dreams you envisioned. This wasn't supposed to happen,  Your husband was supposed to be the ONE person you could finally TRUST.  With much disappointment,  you realized that trust would, once again, be a struggle. SO then what?



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A Wife's Misplaced Anger

When a wife has been wounded by her husband's choices, many emotions come to the forefront.  Anger is one of them. 

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Love Letter to a Porn Star

My love letter to you.....

This is a very hard letter to write, I am struggling to find the words.  I know you don't know me but  I am all too familiar with you. I hope you will hear my heart as I share with you the impact you have had on my life and my marriage.  Please bear with me as I preface this letter by giving you a glimpse of what my world has looked liked........

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